Bella's
by Jocelyn Torrent
Summary: "You asked me to be your Edward tonight. But all I ever wanted to be was your Alice." Bellice
1. Chapter 1

Bella's

Bella was so cold. Cold, frigid, freezing, arctic, chilling, glacial, none of them compared. Her bones seemed to shiver against her skin and her fingers twitched madly even though she was gripping the steering wheel. The heater in Bella's old Chevy hadn't worked for ages so it wasn't helping any. Her clothes were dry and she had a jacket on, but it didn't matter. No amount of clothing could restore warmth to her cold body.

Cold, of course, in more ways than one. Since his departure, Bella had never felt any amount of warmth. Sure, she could muster up an affectionate smile for her father, make her laughter ring for Jacob, but it was all a façade. She couldn't remember the last time she'd actually felt anything.

Wait.

Yes she could. It had happened only mere hours ago. A feeling of loneliness, of death and despair. The feeling of drowning in your own stupid charade, personified by a real current. Bella clenched her eyes shut, knowing the road like the back of her hand. Her throat still ached, raw. It seared every time she swallowed, like her saliva was only making it worse. Thank God for Jacob, who had saved her. She only wished she could give him more….

Her eyes burned. She opened them for a moment to glance at them in the rearview mirror. They were painfully red and itching. Mixed in with her brown irises, she looked feral. She looked like…no, she wouldn't think about it, she wouldn't.

She wouldn't think about her second family, the ones who'd forgotten her. She wouldn't think about him leaving her, not caring of how it affected her. She wouldn't think about her, her one true friend, who'd left without saying goodbye. She just wouldn't.

Salty tears now filled the crevices of her eyes and she closed them again, having reached her destination. The pull into the driveway was slow and agonizing. She was so tired. Everything seemed to move in slow motion now that the rushing waves weren't crashing over her, speeding up everything around her. She opened the door of the truck and stepped onto the pavement. She swayed slightly as she balanced herself. Even the ground seemed to move differently. Suddenly, she had the bizarre feeling to re-immerse herself in the water, to feel what she knew; but of course that idea was ludicrous.

Instead, Bella sighed and took notice of the fact that her father was still gone. Glancing at her watch (which was fortunately waterproof) she saw that he would be gone for a few hours more. That was good. Interacting with someone right now didn't seem like the best of ideas. All Bella wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed, and dream sweet dreams of them.

The door opened swiftly and without sound, almost as if it sympathized with her. Bella smiled softly at it and stepped into the house, shivering as the ac hit her.

Then she froze.

Someone was standing in her hallway. Someone petit, with short, spiked hair. Bella's head jerked forward, wanting to lunge at the figure. But the rest of her body resisted, unbelieving. The figure stood perfectly still, waiting for something, it seemed. Bella stared at it for what seemed like hours before she finally managed enough thought to speak.

"A-Alice?" She croaked, her throat aching with the effort.

"Bella…." The voice responded, much calmer but with the same amount of disbelief as Bella's. Bella needed no further proof. With weak and wobbly legs she lunged herself at Alice, throwing her arms around her neck. Alice grabbed her waist, sensing Bella's languid state, and supported her as Bella broke down.

"Alice, I…Alice! Alice!" All that Bella could manage to say was the vampire's name. She still couldn't believe that she was here, holding her, supporting her. She grabbed at Alice's hair, clutching it in her palm and feeling the silkiness. She pressed her nose firmly into Alice's top, even with her collarbone and inhaled deeply, memorizing it in case this was just a dream. Even one of Bella's legs wrapped around Alice's, in a desperate desire to be as close as possible to her.

"Oh, Bella, please…" Alice murmured into Bella's hair as she kissed the top of her head. Though she was better at controlling it, Alice was crumbling on the inside too. She'd come here to console Charlie on Bella's suicide only to have the accident-prone come home and leap into her arms. This shock nearly broke Alice in two and she wished that she had the ability to cry to show just how much she felt for Bella.

Bella continued to cry on her shoulder, inconsolable at this point. Gaining some strength, emotionally and physically, Alice unwrapped Bella's leg from around her and carried her over to the couch so that they could sit down. The transition seemed to calm Bella a bit and she finally managed start easing her sobs. Alice rested her chin on Bella's head and rubbed her back soothingly. Finally, Bella pulled away and stared at Alice with bright, wide eyes.

"Oh, Alice," she whispered, awed yet again. She was beautiful, beyond words. Bella felt herself becoming absorbed in them. They looked just like Edward's. And by focusing on them, she could make Edward's face out of Alice's. Unfortunately, Alice broke her concentration.

"Bella, how are you still alive?" Bella blinked a few times and was reacquainted with Alice. Her expression was a mixture of shock and somber. It took Bella a few minutes to understand the question but soon she realized the misconception.

"Oh…you saw me fall."

"I saw you jump." Alice's voice was sharp, biting. Bella flinched as she spoke. She lowered her head and felt Alice's hand on her own. Alice gave it a reassuring squeeze and Bella didn't feel so frightened anymore. "Why, Bella?"

"I did jump. But, it was just to…" Bella drifted. How was she supposed to say something like this? How could she tell Alice that she often threatened her life just to hear his voice in her ears? Alice would have her committed. Alice's grip on Bella's hand tightened to the point of pain and Bella looked at her again. She looked so pained, so used. It hurt Bella's heart to see her this way. Regardless of how Alice would take it, she had to tell her.

"When you left…when he left, I didn't exist. I had no life. And then, I drove a motorcycle, dangerously." Bella closed her eyes, remembering his voice in her mind. "And I heard him. I heard…Edward. He told me I was being stupid." She gave a drunken laugh at the thought of him again. "And so now, when I'm dangerous, I hear him. When I jumped from the cliff, it was to hear him." She stopped, smiling like a schoolgirl who'd just revealed juicy gossip. In spite of herself, she half expected Alice to understand her reasoning. It made sense to her.

Alice sighed, released Bella's hand quickly. She looked to her left, staring blankly at the wall. Her jaw was clenched firm and her shoulders squared. "Edward was right." She said after a moment. "You were being stupid." Alice couldn't believe it. Even in her era girls weren't so pathetic. It wasn't that she didn't understand love; she knew it quite well, and in all forms. She just didn't understand such desperation, such yearning. Bella lowered her head and the scent of her blood became more potent to Alice as her cheeks reddened.

"You don't have to mock me."

"Oh, I don't? You don't think I have a right to some anger after this, Bella? I thought you were suicidal!" Alice was livid now and she stood from the couch to pace, running her fingers through her short hair. Bella swallowed hard, causing her throat to ache again. Alice took a few even breaths and sat down again. "Bella, surely you know how crazy you're acting." She whispered, her voice desperate. Bella looked into those as that so resembled Edward's and couldn't help it anymore. She broke down yet again.

"I need him, Alice! I need him! I can't stand being without him. I need to hear his voice, smell his skin, taste his tongue." Bella continued to ramble, unashamed at her admissions. Alice watched her silently. "I…I crave him, Alice. I need my Edward." Bella's breathing calmed down and she looked Alice in the eyes again. Edward's eyes. They were so filled with love, skepticism, and concern.

And then, a spark flamed within her. She wanted to touch the face that held his gaze. Tentatively, she reached out, and cupped Alice's smooth cheek. She sighed at the cold stone that awakened her senses. For the first time in months, she felt full, complete. And she wanted more.

In a desperate movement, she leapt forward and placed her lips on Alice's. They were so hard, just like his. Alice pushed her away in a fleeting sweep. As a result of her reaction, she'd pushed too hard, and Bella was flown onto her back on the couch. Alice gasped, thinking that she'd hurt Bella, and leaned over her, pushing her hair out of her face.

"I'm sorry, Bella, you…surprised me." Even Alice was shocked at being surprised. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," Bella answered before leaning up to kiss Alice again. Alice pushed her away more softly this time.

"Bella what's the matter with you?" She asked as Bella rose up again, more slowly. There was a seductive look in her eye that Alice didn't trust. Keeping her eyes locked on Alice's, Bella placed a hand on the vampire's chest, resulting in another shocked gasp. Bella's eyes narrowed into a look of desperation.

"Please, Alice, I need him." She murmured as she began to undo the buttons of Alice's blouse. "Be my Edward." She whispered as she finished the final button, allowing Alice's shirt to fall open. Alice closed her eyes and took a deep breath, sensing the carnal need from Bella. If only Bella knew how much she wanted to give in. How much she had always wanted to give in. How much she wanted to be Bella's Alice. Not Bella's Edward. Bella blinked once, and placed both of her hands on Alice's breasts.

"Oh, Bella," Alice whimpered, before she lowered herself on top of her and began to kiss her again. The piteous tone of Alice's voice was not unnoticed by Bella. But she didn't care. She needed this. She needed him. And Alice was going to give him to her. Bella pushed Alice's shirt off of her shoulders, scratching the hard skin as she went. Alice groaned and threaded her hands under Bella's shirt, massaging her breasts.

Bella closed her eyes, soft moans eliciting through her opened mouth. The more she made noise, the more it turned Alice on, and the less she cared about whom was making Bella moan. In one swift movement, Alice removed Bella's shirt. Not wasting time to remove the bra in standard fashion, Alice gave the fabric between the cleavage a slight jerk and ripped it in two. Bella enjoyed the roughness and smiled as she bit down Alice's lower lip.

Alice growled in response and cupped Bella's breast, sucking on her neck. She could feel Bella's blood pulsing in her mouth and bit down softly on the flesh. It tasted good, but Alice wasn't looking for blood tonight. Instead, she moved her head lower to Bella's chest. Bella sighed and ran her hands through Alice's short, boyish hair. It was so soft, just like his. Alice dusted kisses over Bella's breasts before taking her left nipple in her mouth. She bit down rather hard, causing Bella to arch into her, and then began to massage it with her tongue, easing the pain.

Bella was panting now as she felt Alice's cool mouth encircling her nipple and she began to buck her hips against Alice, desperate for stimulation. Alice grinned at Bella's efforts and complied with her needs, skimming her hands down Bella's stomach until they reached the snap of her jeans. She fiddled for longer than necessary, watching as Bella writhed uncomfortably below her. When she finally undid the snap and pulled down the zipper, she traced Bella's pelvis with her finger, watching the goosebumps rise.

"Oh, God!" Bella urged, longing for her to do something.

"Yes?" Alice replied smugly. Bella, who was still a bit disoriented, rose up onto her elbows and gave Alice the most pathetic face.

"Please?"

Alice needed no further instruction as she lowered Bella's pants just enough. She slipped one hand beneath Bella's underwear and came up to kiss her again. Alice moved slowly as she felt Bella's wetness, exploring every inch of Bella's core sweetly and curiously. Bella groaned, grabbing Alice's breasts as she tried to grind against Alice's fingers. "Please," she urged again, longing to release. Alice paused, stilling her hand. This pause caused Bella to open her eyes.

"Tell me you love me." Alice commanded. She knew that it was pathetic, that she was being pathetic. But all she wanted, needed, were the words from Bella's mouth. Bella closed her eyes, smiling softly as she rested her head on the pillow.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Bella." Alice admitted finally, like she'd always wanted. Not wanting to keep her love waiting any longer, Alice inserted two fingers into Bella. Bella gave a short yell, arching her back again as Alice moved up to kiss her passionately. She moved her fingers rhythmically inside of Bella, savoring the groans that Bella fed into her mouth. Alice pulled away for a moment and rose up just a bit, surveying her lover. Bella's head was tilted back, her mouth held open in a wordless call. Her gorgeous hair fell about her face and shoulders, sticking to the sweat and her breasts bounced up and down with each of Alice's thrusts.

Alice smiled to herself and gave a sharp exhale. She'd never seen such a natural perfection in all her life. In fact….

Alice closed her eyes, feeling something swelling inside of her. She bent down over Bella again and kissed her forcefully on swollen lips. Bella groaned at the force and tried to return it, responding rhythmically to Alice's rapidly increasing fingers. Soon, Bella tore herself from Alice's mouth, wrapping her arms around her as she felt her climax nearing. Her fingers scraped down Alice's back. Though the scratches were dull, it sent Alice over the edge and she grabbed Bella's sheets with one hand as she let out her first real shout of the evening.

As Alice came, Bella began to thrust against her fingers for more force. Then, something burst within her and radiated through her body. She shook sporadically as her eyelids fluttered. She gripped tightly onto Alice as she came down from her high and began to kiss Alice's neck sweetly.

"Oh, Edward." She murmured into the vampire's ear.

Alice's eyes shot open as the realization hit her. Could she have really been so stupid? She removed herself from Bella's arms and looked down at her closed lids. Yes, she had been that stupid. In an instant, she was off of the couch, scooping up her shirt and putting it back on. Bella opened her eyes at the absence and looked lazily over at Alice.

"Where're you going, Alice?" She asked sweetly, not enjoying being out of her grasp.

"Back." Was Alice's simple, sad reply.

"Back?" Bella sat up on the couch, gripping the edges.

"Back to Denali, where I never should have left."

"What are you talking about?"

Alice sighed, throwing her arms down angrily. "I never should have come back, Bella. It was a waste of time."

"No, Alice, please don't go." Bella urged, standing from the couch and heading over to her. She wrapped her arms around Alice and kissed her neck sweetly. "We have so much to talk about." Alice sighed, closing her eyes and inhaling Bella's scent for the last time. Then, she gently pushed Bella off of her.

"What that means is you want me to tell you about Edward. Well, I hate to be frank, Bella, but he left you. He's gone. If someone did that to me, I'd be glad they were gone. And here you are going insane over him." Bella's lower lip trembled as she tried desperately not to cry. She didn't want to hear Alice's words, understand her reasoning.

"A-Alice, I…w-what about what just happened?"Bella asked, motioning towards her nude body. "What about what we shared?" Alice bit her bottom lip and shook her head softly, unable to look Bella in the eyes.

"Don't you mean what you and Edward shared?" Bella's mouth fell open before she clenched it shut. She wrapped her arms around herself and also neglected to meet Alice's eyes. Alice scoffed with her sad realization. Never so much had she hated being right. Shaking her head again, she headed for the door, pausing as she pulled it open.

"You asked me to be your Edward tonight. But all I ever wanted to be was your Alice. Guess neither of us will get what we want." Alice shrugged, glancing over Bella once more for her memory, and exited the house.

Bella stared at the closed door, listening to the purr of Alice's car as it started and roar as it took off down the street. Then she fell back onto the couch, wrapping a blanket around her bare shoulders. She thought about Edward. She thought about Alice. And tried to figure out which love she let walk out the door meant more to her.


	2. Chapter 2

Window

Alice's words were still ringing in her ears. She couldn't force them out, no matter how hard she tried. 'All I ever wanted to be was your Alice.' Bella gritted her teeth at the thought. Had Alice been pining after her the whole time? Or was it just a cruel attempt to make her forget about Edward? If it was the latter, she wasn't falling for it.

Bella closed her eyes and remembered this evening. She pictured Edward on top of her, running his hands through her hair, kissing her softly, whispering his love, showing her his love. The memory was so beautiful that it brought tears to her eyes. She wiped them away carelessly and went on remembering the entire event. It was so…perfect. Bella couldn't put a better adjective to it. This evening had been perfect, until she'd woken up.

Until she'd woken up and realized that it was not Edward who had just made love to her, but Alice. Alice, while a very good substitute, was not the real thing. If only Bella hadn't opened her mouth and called attention to her intentions. If only she'd kept her eyes shut and continued dreaming. If only she'd played the charade up a bit more, Edward would still be here, cradling her in his arms. And she would relish in them, reliving their lovemaking and desperately trying not to fall asleep and mar the memory. But she didn't, she hadn't. And Alice had figured it out and spoiled her plan.

But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was why Bella had done it in the first place. She'd used Alice like she was a common whore. That was too cruel for words. No words could describe Bella's shame. Only the feeling of rot in her stomach and the literal aching pain of her heart could match the emotion. Bella sighed, remembering Alice's pained expression. The cold reality of her words that stung Bella to the bone. It nearly broke her in half as well. She hadn't meant to use Alice. She just…needed Edward. She still did.

Bella sat on the couch until she saw the headlights of her father's cruiser pulling into the driveway. Then it was only a matter of seconds before she had scooped up all of her clothes and dashed into her bedroom. She flung the clothes into her closet, save for her shirt and underwear, and dove under the bed. Just as she'd pulled the shirt over her head and nestled under the covers, her father's head peered through her door.

"Bella, are you decent?" He whispered in case she was asleep.

"Yeah, come on in, Dad," Bella answered softly. Charlie made his way into the room slowly, almost as if he regretted her being awake. Nevertheless he made it over to her bed and sat down on the edge of it. Bella propped her head up on her elbow, careful not to let the covers slide down too much. Charlie gave a half-hearted smile, only to draw back a bit when she returned it.

"Geez, Bell, I think that's the first genuine smile I've seen you give in months." Bella's cheeks reddened as she lowered her head. So, her façade of contentment had fooled no one, herself included. Charlie gave a rather loud sigh and patted the edge of the bed where her feet were. "So, what's the cause of this newfound facial expression? He didn't come back, did he? " As if on impulse, Charlie's left hand moved from his lap to his gun holster. He would probably never forgive Edward for what he'd done to his daughter. He wasn't particularly the type of man to hold a grudge, but messing with his daughter crossed a whole 'nother line in terms of civility.

Bella kept her head down and drew lazy circles on her comforter. She didn't know whether or not to mention Alice's arrival. Charlie, like all of the others, had fallen in love with Alice from the first time he'd met her. But she was still his sister. And, on the off chance that Alice was still in town or would come back to see her, Bella didn't want her father to chase her off out of anger. The image of Alice bolting out the door with Charlie, clad only in underwear, chasing after her, gun held high flashed through her mind. She couldn't help but laugh a bit at the thought.

"And now you're laughing," Charlie noted, disbelief evident in voice. Bella exhaled slowly. Charlie was far too intrigued to fall for whatever lame lie she could come up with. The truth was the only thing he would fall for. Slowly, Bella raised her head to make eye contact with her father. He smiled warmly, if not apprehensively at her.

"Dad, I…someone came to visit me today."

"Oh yeah, who? Was it Jacob Black? He's a nice kid."

"No, a girl came to visit me. Um, Alice showed up."

Charlie stiffened at the name but Bella noted that the hatred in his eyes had not appeared. She let out a sigh of relief and waited for Charlie to regain his composure.

"He didn't come by, did he?" Charlie's voice was stone-like and gruff. Bella had never really thought her father intimidating until he spoke of Edward. Cowardly, she snuck just a little bit farther away from him, lowering her head so that he wouldn't see how much it hurt to speak of him. "Bella, answer the question,"

Bella jumped at his quick outburst. He hated him. He hated Edward. Now it was official that she would never see his face again, save for her dreams. Tears rimmed her eyes as she shook her head, gripping the comforter in her chilled hands. "No, he's still gone."

"Good. Keep it that way."

"Yes, sir,"

Almost instantly Charlie recovered. He gave a heavy sigh, the anger diminishing from his features. He looked at the opposing wall wistfully, deep in thought. Bella took this time to wipe her eyes from any stray tears and glanced over at the window. She could just see Edward sitting on a tree branch, waiting for her father to leave so that he could be by her side. A desire ripped through her. A desire to see, to hope. She pulled at the comforter, wrapping it around her waist before climbing off of the bed and heading over to the window. Each step closer to the glass increased her desire for him. Now, after her third step, she was sure that he was out there, waiting like he always was. She pictured his warm, kindling eyes, the deep creases of his forehead, that mesmerizing grin. And she wanted, she wanted him.

The last step was a leap to the window. Bella almost laughed aloud as she stared at the tree. There he was, crouched on the branch, waiting. He flashed a crooked smile and she returned it, placing her fingers against the cool glass.

"Bella, what are you looking at?

Bella's eyes fluttered at the voice that was not Edward's. She focused again on the tree and saw nothing. He was never there. He never would be again. Bella's heart broke in half yet again as she let out a violent scream of agony. She glared at her translucent reflection in the window, hating it. Her nails dug down the glass, resulting in a horrid noise. But even that wasn't enough to satisfy her. She screamed again and formed a fist with her hand, slamming it against the window. It only cracked so she did it again. This time it shattered.

Glass went everywhere. It splayed in slow motion around her. She could feel the tiny pieces pelting against her cheeks and longed for them to cut her. A fire raged around her wrist as she cradled it closer to her. The comforter had fallen long ago and her legs were now scratched with glass. Bella took a step, and pain flooded through her foot. She began to sob and fell to the floor. Glass tore at her exposed thighs, shredded her claves. But it wasn't enough. She could still remember. Subconsciously, she dug her legs into the carpet, intensifying the pain.

And suddenly, her ribs were aching. And she was being thrown through the air. Bella landed on the bed mere moments later and looked around. Her father was standing by the window, shaking with rage. "Christ, Bella! What the hell's the matter with you?" He shouted, so angrily that it made Bella jump. Her silence only caused Charlie to grow more livid and he too, punched the top window. It showered over him, making little tinkling noises as it came into contact with the glass on the floor. Bella began to cry again, her sobs hushed for her father's sake. Why hadn't he come to her? Why couldn't she hear his voice? She was hurting herself, putting herself in danger like she always was. Why wasn't he there?

The sound of teeth clicking together woke her from her thoughts and she looked up at her father. His jaw was clenched to the point of pain and his fists were balled so tightly that even in the darkened room Bella could see his white knuckles. "I'm going to clean up this mess. And then I'm taking you to the hospital," Charlie said slowly. Then he raised a hand and pointed a threatening finger at her. "Do…not…move." Bella could only nod once. Her father looked her over, noting her bloodied body before shaking his head and heading slowly out the door. Anger seemed to be the only thing keeping him together.

Once he was gone, Bella looked down at her body. Incisions of every sort littered her alabaster legs. The blood pooled from every wound, dripping onto her yellow bed sheets. They flowed in intricate designs down her calves until they reached her ankles. Bella lifted her aching hand. It was sticky with dried blood covered by newer flows. She stared at it lazily, not feeling the sickness like she usually did. She didn't feel anything. She felt nothing but the pain. She clenched her hand into a fist again, wincing as it ached. She could feel glass shards beneath her skin, scraping against her insides. It felt so foreign, so wonderful.

She looked over at the broken window. Her thin curtains were swaying lightly in the open breeze and she shivered as the wind rushed against the wetness of her body, chilling her blood inside and out. She tried to see the glass littered carpet, but her bed was obstructing the view. She lifted her leg to move, only to find that it was stuck to the sheets. Removing it was easy, but painful and she smiled as she did the same to her other leg. Then, she crawled on her knees to the edge of the bed. Glass was in her knees as well and she felt them raking against the bones. She sound that she imagined with it made her cringe and she rose onto the balls of her feet. Glass was in there too. Glass was everywhere, hurting her. And she loved it.

She made it to the edge of the bed and peered over the edge. Glass ranging from every shape and size were scattered about the floor. She stared at it, becoming absorbed in the little flecks. And then, the moon came out from behind the clouds. It poured through her open window and reflected off of the glass. They began to sparkle before Bella's eyes. They looked like gems embedded in rock. It was so beautiful. She became lost in the starry night that was her bedroom floor and smiled to herself. And then she saw a darker color. Slowly, her eyes drifted to the left, closer to the wall. Pools and droplets of a deep crimson shone black in the light of the moon. Bella bent over the bed, reaching out to the sanguine.

It was cool to the touch, but still wet. She brought her fingers closer to her eyes and examined the colors in the light. She still felt so numb. Numb to everything around her, except the voice that would never come. Slowly, she reached out to a bigger spot, raking her fingers along it. Then she stopped and pulled back suddenly. Her fingers had new blood on them, resulting from a cut. Bella looked down again and saw a large piece of glass. It had been camouflaged against the deep color but Bella had moved it to where it now reflected in the light.

It was the biggest piece of glass that she could see. It was in the oblong shape of a triangle with three serrated edges. One of them had just the smallest speck of blood on it. Bella glance at her finger for a moment and then bent down to carefully pick up the piece. It did not cut her this time and she smiled as she intentionally pricked a new finger on each edge. Each one was viciously sharp and inviting. Bella brought her fingers to her lips, cleaning them. And then she thought of something, something that had never crossed her mind before. Carefully, but with shaking hands, she brought the glass edge to her wrist. She made contact with her skin but didn't push down. She just set it there, and waited.

'Bella, don't be stupid.'

Bella jumped at the voice which rang through her ears. It was not his voice. It was her voice. Bella's lip protruded in a subconscious pout. She didn't want to hear her voice. She'd already betrayed her once. She wanted to hear Edward's voice. The voice of the one she loved.

'Please, Bella, throw it back onto the carpet.'

"No, Alice," Bella said aloud, gritting her teeth. Her body began to quake with desire as she pushed the glass just a bit more into her arm. This time, it cut her, but not deeply. She closed her eyes as a sigh escaped her mouth. All she needed was to hear him.

'Bella, I command you to stop that at once.

There it was. His voice. Bella froze instantly, smiling at her room. She removed the glass from her wrist and held it close to her heart. This was it. This was how she would hear him. She just had to make it close enough. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she crawled back up the bed and stuffed the piece of glass under her mattress. Another time though, her father was coming up the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

Addiction

"So, Bella, how do you feel?"

"Like I'm travelling down this narrow, dark hallway. There's a dim light at the end but it's growing fainter every day. And whenever I try to take a step towards it, this screaming comes out of nowhere and I fall to my knees all over again."

"Really?"

"No,"

Dr. Schafer sighed, lowering the notebook she was writing on. She moved her stereotypical spectacles down to the end of her nose and half-glared at Bella. "Bella, I can't help you heal if you don't tell me the truth." Bella smiled politely at the doctor but remained silent. They were in the hospital. Since it was such a small town and so late in the evening, Bella had seen a doctor almost immediately. She remembered staring at the doctor's average features and being reminded of Carlisle Cullen. He was so handsome, so wise, and so sincere. She'd almost started crying while the doctor was stitching her up at the thought of him.

And then, as she waited to go home, scratching at the itchy fabric of the hospital gown, this woman had come in. Dr. Schafer, pronounced, 'Chafe-er' was supposed to come in for a mental evaluation. Bella had almost laughed out loud at the doctor. Partly at her name and partly at her purpose. Bella wasn't crazy, she knew this. And, after hearing Edward's voice in her ears only hours ago, she was also perfectly content. The thoughts of depression and suicide no longer lingered inside of her, not right now, anyway.

"Look, Doctor, I'm fine. I appreciate the concern but I'm just a hormonal teenager who's realized the error of her ways. And I'm very tired." Dr. Schafer gave her that same condescending look that she did every second and folded her hands across her lap.

"But, Bella, healing is all about-

She was cut off as Bella sighed roughly and motioned to her bandaged legs. "I'm fine, okay. The doctors, the real ones, have taken care of me. Now may I please go?" Bella watched as the psychiatrists cheeks reddened briefly before she stood and headed for the door. She turned just before opening it and glared at Bella without her usual restraint.

"I have no business in wasting my time with people who aren't willing," she said before she pulled open the door and let it slam behind her. Bella let her head hang for a few moments. She hadn't meant to hurt the Doctor's feelings, but she really didn't want to waste any more time in this overly clean place of messy memories. She needed to get home and hear Edward, her love. His last words were already fading in her mind and the aching in her chest was starting to replace it. The never ending tears began to shimmer in her eyes yet again as she threw back her covers and rose from the bed.

When her feet made contact with the floor, she swayed instantly, becoming dizzy. Her feet burned as if she'd stepped on fire. She leaned back, resting most of her weight against the bed, and put a hand to her head. Her legs were stinging from the bandages having twisted around them and she contorted them, easing the tension. Maybe 'busting out' of here was going to be harder than she thought.

As she regained her balance Bella glanced around the bland hospital room. Its pasty white-yellow walls were starting to cause her to see spots and she could practically see the ground in coffee stains on the overused guest chair. It was all so…dull. Bella closed her eyes and smiled as she remembered her hospital visit several months ago. She was cut and bruised from head to toe and was sure that there was blood all over her. But the Cullens had stayed by her side. Edward never left, never.

Bella remembered lying in her medicine induced coma, hearing him whisper and sing to her, feeling him fix her hair and kiss her temple, just him being there. It was what brought her through her pain, she was sure of it. And the room was so much more beautiful. Alice had gone through careful measures to make sure that every get well card was perfectly placed and every flower was faultlessly aligned in its vase. They'd all been so caring. They were all there for her. How could they have left her?

"What are you doing out of bed?"

Bella's eyes shot open as she laid eyes upon her father. He was in his uniform, dressed for work. A grocery sack was hanging from his left wrist. Upon closer inspection, Bella saw that it was filled with some of her books. In his right hand was her pillow. It had escaped her ordeal relatively unscathed. "My…my stuff?" Bella asked as she tried to read the book titles inside the bag. Charlie sighed, lowering both arms dejectedly.

"Yeah, thought I'd make your stay more comfortable. But since you went and pissed off the shrink, I guess we're going home. His tone sounded as if he were trying being angry, but just couldn't find the strength anymore. Bella lowered her head, choosing to stare at the tile rather than the dark rings around Charlie's eyes. She heard the grocery bag ruffle a little bit as Charlie messed with the sleeves of his shirt. Then he sighed and gave an indifferent shrug. "Anyway, I wanted to tell you that you've been discharged. The nurse is coming in to help you get dressed. We'll…talk about this later." There was more ruffling, and a door closing, and Bella's room was quiet again.

As Charlie had said, a nurse did come in about five minutes later and helped Bella to get dressed despite Bella's red cheeks and assurances that she was fine. But, as Bella tried to pull her head through her shirt, she stumbled backwards, sending the fire in her feet upwards to the base of her spine. The large nurse caught her and even held her slightly to take the pressure off of her feet. "Dear, this isn't good for your feet. Take a seat, please, and finish changing. I'll go get a wheelchair." Without waiting for a response from Bella, she was out the door.

Though Bella wished it wasn't so, the pain truly unbearable and she sighed as she eased herself back onto the edge of the bed. The scratches on her thighs simmered as they made contact with the sheets but they were much more tolerable than anywhere else on her body so she left them there. She tried to put on some jeans that Charlie had brought her, but those were out of the question now. Instead, she settled for loose fitting athletic shorts that were supposed to be her sleepwear. The nurse came back just as Bella was running a brush through her hair.

"Come along dear," she cooed as she wheeled the chair over to Bella, "your father's waiting in the car." Bella groaned as she eased herself into the chair, embarrassed at having being treated like an invalid. The drive from the little Forks hospital back to their house was 20 minutes tops, traffic depending. Bella knew that was plenty of time for her and Charlie to 'talk.'

Charlie's cruiser was running as the sliding doors opened for Bella and the nurse. The passenger door was opened and he was leaning against the front of the car, waiting with an expression Bella couldn't understand. However, his expression eased when he saw her and Bella felt herself being lifted into the car with the utmost gentility. It reminded her of Edward's touch and she shook her head, staring into her father's eyes as a reminder that it was not Edward. Somehow, it kept her from breaking down again. Charlie shut the door behind Bella and turned to say something to the nurse. She appeared to be giving him a list of things to do or remember and Bella half smiled as she watched his head bob up and down in continuous nods. Then the chatter was over, and Charlie was rounding the front of the car to the driver's seat. Bella stiffened as he sat down, almost as if she were waiting for the guillotine. It was no question that Charlie would want to talk about the incident, and a perfectly logical action it was. But she didn't think that she had the strength to explain to him what had happened only hours ago. Without a word, Charlie put the car in drive and took off down the road.

"So, what was that, Bella?" He asked as they came to a four way stop.

"I don't want to talk about it, Dad." Bella's eyes began to water as she turned and faced the window.

"Yeah well, contrary to what you may think, it's not all about you. Come on, Bells, help me to understand."

"There's nothing to understand."

"Oh, so rolling around in glass is the new teen thing, is it?"

Bella sighed. She didn't need or want his sarcasm. She didn't have to tell him anything. What Bella experienced was between her and Edward. Edward, her love. Charlie sighed abruptly and Bella glanced over in time to see his hands tighten around the steering wheel.

"Okay tell me this: Why did you insult the shrink?"

"Because I don't need one."

"Bella Swan, your mother and I raised you to be kinder to people."

His fatherly tone was almost shocking to Bella. She'd never really considered Charlie all that fatherly but as she looked at him now, his strained expression, gripping hands, and tired eyes, she understood just how much he really cared. Sighing, she returned to the window, nodding slowly.

"You're right, Dad, you did. I'm sorry."

Charlie was quiet for the next few minutes. Then, as they came to another stop, he heaved a great sigh and eased further into his chair.

"I…called your mother, Bella. But she's in Guantanamo Bay or someplace with Ted or Steve or whatshisname." He paused, and looked over at Bella. She sensed his staring and out of courtesy, faced him. "I think it might be best if we talked about…sending you back to Phoenix."

"Oh no, Dad, please! Please don't send me back!" The idea of going to a place where a Cullen dared not travel was unfathomable to her, heartbreaking even. "Please, Dad, I'll be good. I promise!"

Charlie shut his eyes tightly and rubbed them. Bella continued to stare at him, her eyes pleading. Then Charlie shook his head and mumbled something Bella couldn't hear. However she didn't have time to ask about it as they had just pulled into the driveway. Bella huffed in an immature manner as Charlie ignored her and got out of the car. He opened the passenger door and his arms to Bella, who reluctantly eased into them. Charlie carried her to her room as if she were a sack of groceries. She'd never known her father to be particularly strong but as he scaled the steps without breathing heavily, she actually felt a little impressed. However, he also set her on her bed as if she were a sack of groceries. Bella couldn't help but feel terribly for her father, who didn't understand a love as deep as she felt.

When Charlie straightened, he sighed and looked around the room. He appeared to be deep in thought. "Well, I don't have any vacation time built up so I have to go to work. But don't get any ideas. I called Helen from next door and told her to keep an eye out and Billy's going to come over as soon as he can. He's gonna stay here and make sure you don't get up to anything. Though, you're not supposed to get up at all." His eyes narrowed a warning to Bella who bowed her head in understanding. Charlie then sniffed and headed towards the door. He stopped just short of walking through it and turned back around.

"I love you, Bells. Try to be good for Billy, okay?"

"I…love you too, Dad. I'll be good."

Charlie gave another faded smile and headed out the door, closing it behind him. Bella smiled at her closed door, listening to the sound of Charlie's cruiser pulling out of the driveway. As soon as she was sure that he was gone, Bella dove under the bed, searching for her treasured artifact. It snagged her finger as she searched; cutting it again and Bella smiled as she got a safe grip on it and pulled it out. The sound of sheets shredding as she pulled the glass out soothed her and she took her time in getting it out. When it was finally freed and visible, Bella held it out to the shattered light of the window, watching it glisten. Just seeing the slice of glass and knowing what it would bring made Bella tingle with excitement.

She crawled over to the edge of the bed and gently lowered herself to the carpet. Charlie had already cleaned up the remaining glass and it looked as if the blood had been scrubbed on as well. The spot was still wet from the cleaner and it cooled her burning legs. She grinned lazily, in a stupor. The carpet cleaner soaked through her bandages, burning the incisions underneath. But she hardly felt them. All she felt, saw, knew was the article in her hand. Slowly, deliberately, she brought the glass to her wrist. It was about a centimeter away when she paused, closing her eyes to listen. She didn't hear anything. She placed the glass upon her wrist. Again, there was no sound.

Tears filled Bella's eyes. Why wasn't he coming? Didn't he care? She grabbed her bottom lip in her teeth and pushed down just a bit. It was the equivalent of what she'd done previously and yet there was no voice. There was no concern. The tears had now overflowed; cascading down Bella's reddened cheeks as she desperately waited for those words she longed to hear. Those demanding, harsh tones that showed just how much he loved her. She whimpered softly, pushing down just a bit harder. Blood was now starting to flow lazily down her already shredded arm. His voice was still just a memory.

Bella paused from her actions and looked out the window. She could just see the second story roof of her neighbor, Helen's house. Bella wondered briefly if the old woman was even home. Would she really come to check up on Bella? Probably not. And she needn't worry about Billy. Billy always intentionally took forever to do something. No, she had plenty of time work on how to hear Edward's voice. Scowling, she turned back to her arm.

The glass was already as deep as her mindset would allow, so she started to slowly drag it down her wrist. It hadn't gone a centimeter when Bella paused, cringing at the pain. It was a bittersweet feeling. Edward's voice was still not here, but the blade made up for it, releasing so much tension. Drool had seeped to the edges of Bella's mouth. She swallowed quickly and readjusted herself on the floor. Cleaner stung into new scars, but again she didn't care. She hardly even noticed pain other than the one she was inflicting.

Running a soft tongue, across her lips, Bella began to drag the glass lower. She didn't stop this time. In fact, she was already starting to feel numb so what did it matter? The truth was the pain didn't matter. His voice was all that mattered and it still wasn't flowing through her ears. Bella cursed at her predicament as her eyes rolled into the back of her hand. She was so cold in the light of the opened window. Rainy winds kept springing through them, chilling whatever skin it touched. Except for her arm which was exceptionally warm. The blood was still pouring from it. Bella stared at, having trouble forming a coherent thought. All she could think about was Edward.

Edward isn't here. He's not speaking to me. He doesn't think I really need him. I need to show him just hour much I need him. Her thoughts were delusional. She began to cry while laughing at the same time. Her stomach began to ache with longing to hear that immortal tone.

"I've got to show him how much I need him," Bella said aloud. "I've got to really show him. I've been so selfish in thinking that this would do anything. This won't do any permanent damage. I've got to…"

Bella drifted as she heard the sound of her heart thundering in her ears. It was so vibrant, so forceful. She placed a cooled hand to her neck. The hammering in her veins was tremendous. Bella blinked a few times, her eyes drifting into a blank stare. Affection had long since clouded her judgment. It was then and there that Bella decided she would do whatever it took to hear Edward's voice. And if she didn't succeed, she'd rather die trying.

She removed the glass from her wrist, wincing as she did so. She returned a hand to her neck, finding a pulse with ease. This was sure to get Edward back. It had to. Bella sighed and lifted the glass to her neck, ready to press down. His voice still did not come. What happened next was a blur.

Her back stung violently, burning and itching like mad. The carpet cleaner in her wounds was now extremely clear to her and she grabbed for her legs, her eyes watering from the pain. Her hair was sticky, caked with something unpleasant. She fluttered her eyes, trying to gain a sense of where she was. Her ceiling came into view. Her ears also kicked in. Someone was in her room. Her hand flew to her neck. There was no mark on it, no blood. Someone had stopped her from hearing Edward's voice. As quickly as she could, Bella rose up; looking for whomever was in her room.

A young woman was scrubbing fervently on the carpet. She was very small, very petit. Her features were beautiful, even with the livid expression it was holding. She was scrubbing with lighting speed, working the new blood out of the carpet. Bella noticed her glass shard just above the woman's head, lying against the windowsill, reflecting in shades of gray clouds. Bella looked down at her arm. The bandages were soaked in red and his was stiff to move. She took notice of the assortments of bandages, the cuts that were now visible. A lot of damage had been done. A lot. It was then that a novel idea hit her. It started in her heart and flowed to every corner of her body. It was aching, yet warm and new.

"Alice," Bella started, staring at the pixie, "he didn't come."

"No, Bella," Alice replied, not taking her eyes off of the carpet, "he didn't."


	4. Chapter 4

Agonizing

Alice continued to ignore Bella's presence. The thing that mattered most now, now that she had saved Bella was getting rid of the blood, getting rid of the thirst. Thankfully for her, Bella wasn't making her job harder. She sat just a few feet away, rubbing carelessly at her cuts and lost in thought. Her realization only moments prior was not lost on Alice and the petit vampire wanted to give her as much time as necessary to reflect.

Thanks to her heightened strength and speed, the carpet was now officially clear of any blood. Alice smiled proudly to herself and turned slowly around to face Bella. Even in her all of her insane absurdity, Bella was still captivating. The way her hair always seemed to fall perfectly around her cheeks never ceased to amaze Alice. However, Bella's beauty only slightly softened Alice's rage. The absolute last thing she had expected when she returned to Forks was to find Bella alive. No, strike that, the absolute last thing she had expected was to make love to a supposed dead Bella Swan.

Alice shook her head angrily as she continued to scrub on the carpet that could not get any cleaner. She wasn't particularly angry with Bella; the poor girl was famous for her melodramatics. Alice was angry at the fact that she'd fallen for it. That she'd given in to that moment of temptation. She growled as she dug her fingers into the wet cloth, tearing holes into it. She saw Bella jump at the noise from her peripheral and forced herself to relax, sitting back on her calves.

"A-Alice?" Bella's voice was extremely meek. There was an underlying tone of apology to it as well. However it wasn't enough yet. Alice continued to refrain from looking at her for fear that she would see the blood and attack. The blood. The blood was everywhere. She could smell, taste, and feel it in the air. Her stomach twisted into violent knots as her throat burned an immortal fire. Not breathing helped, while the stench of cleaner masked it a bit. Still, she wasn't sure enough to take the chance.

"Yes, Bella?" she answered, looking at the guilty glass shard in the window. She heard a light shuffling. Then Bella hissed and there was a jerking movement that Alice could only guess was a wince.

"Alice, my legs hurt really badly," Bella whimpered. She had finally succumbed to the pain. The carpet cleaner felt as if it were pumping alongside her blood, burning the insides of her into nothing but ashes. Bella considered crying in front of someone to be the ultimate embarrassment. But right now, it hurt too much for her to care. After she'd gotten that statement out, she pulled her knees to her chest and began to sob.

In that instant, Alice's thirst was forgotten. Without hesitation she darted over to Bella and picked her up in a fleeting scoop, careful to mind her scraped legs. She then carried Bella to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Ever so gently, Alice sat Bella down on the toilet seat while she turned to start the water in the tub. "Bella, take off your clothes." Bella's tears stopped momentarily as she looked up at Alice, wide-eyed. The pixie noticed her panicked expression and raised a hand to cup her cheek. "This is no time for modesty and I'll keep my eyes closed, okay? Come on, we've got to clean you up…yet again…."

Bella considered laughing but thought better of it as she watched Alice turn around. She got undressed slowly. The entire situation was extremely awkward given what had happened between the two mere hours ago. However the aching of her skin caused her not to dwell too much on the situation. With tentative fingers, Bella grasped the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. That was relatively painless, as was the removal of her bra. As she looped her thumbs into the waistband of her athletic shorts, she stole one last glance at Alice. She was still turned, standing still as stone and completely unaware of her presence. Bella sighed and pulled on the waistband, allowing the shorts to fall. They just grazed her legs which made her wince, but nothing more.

Bella's breaths were becoming ragged now. She wanted to jump up and down to distract her from the pain, but the incisions along her feet wouldn't allow it. She wanted to hurry, but couldn't allow herself to do so. She'd never felt so helpless in all her life. Her eyes darted over to the tub which was almost halfway filled. Water. She hadn't even thought about water. This would be the first time she'd gotten into a tub since her drowning. Slowly, she raised her hand and ran it through her hair. It was stiff and dry from the salt.

Her legs were now starting to twitch. The cleanser was still seeping into her from her bandages. It still burned, but she hardly noticed now. She couldn't decide a worse pain, the water or the burn. Bella saw Alice move from the corner of her eye. Ever so slowly, Alice turned her head, giving Bella a chance to see her profile as she studied the tub. "Bella, the tub's almost filled. Is something wrong?" Bella swallowed hard and leaned against the sink, easing the weight on her feet. With her free hand, she grabbed the elastic of her panties as slowly began to pull them down. Unfortunately, she had to stop when she reached the first cut. It had begun to hurt before she'd even touched it. The skin around it was so tender. Bella took her bottom lip in her mouth as she exhaled sharply.

"Alice?"

"Yes?"

"I n-need help."

Alice turned almost immediately and headed over to Bella. Bella noticed that her eyes stayed locked with hers the entire time. Alice's expression was so serious that it was borderline professional. Bella couldn't for the life of her figure out why this made her feel…inadequate. Quietly, she motioned to her underwear. "It's too tight," she whispered, studying Alice's expression. Alice paused for only a moment, taking in what Bella had said. Then she lowered her eyes to Bella's thighs.

Alice hadn't really seen the extent of Bella's injuries as they were previously obscured. But now, as she looked on at the smooth, alabaster skin that was now shredded with crimson, she wished she could sob. Just so Bella could see how much she'd hurt her. And yet instead of sobbing, Alice merely looked upwards into Bella's eyes again. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying and what little color she had was drained from her face. She was so beautiful, so helpless. She took another step. They were just a breath apart.

Alice placed a hand on Bella's waist and let it linger for just a moment before she slid it lower, noticing how Bella's breath caught. Her fingers danced over Bella's along the elastic, removing them gently. Still locked in a gaze, Alice gripped the fabric and ripped it in half. It fell limply against Bella's thigh, exposing fully her long legs. It only took Alice another half second to shred the other half and both listened as it fell softly to the floor. Bella held Alice's gaze for a few moments more before she turned and began to step towards the tub. Alice followed her, arm extended should she need balance. "What about my bandages?" Bella muttered lazily as she lowered herself into the warm water and turning it off.

"Don't worry. We'll redo them. Just soak them off," Alice replied as she sat down on the toilet seat. As she did so, she spotted a shaving razor that was resting on a corner of the tub. "Would you rather me leave?" she asked, never taking her eyes off of the blade. Bella shook her head, still fiddling with the bandages.

"I'd rather you stay, please, if you want. I…don't really trust myself," she murmured, laying her soaking bandages across the tub.

"Mm," was Alice's only reply as she stood from the toilet and gathered the bandages, along with the razor. Bella watched as she threw them into the trashcan before sitting down again. She'd seen the razor in Alice's hand and now her cheeks burned with embarrassment and frustration.

"I didn't mean like that. I meant that I was still dizzy."

"Well, I think it's safe to say that trusting yourself falls along both of those lines."

Alice then crossed her legs. There was an unbefitting glare on her usually cheerful face. Bella lowered her head and skimmed her finger along the surface of the water. "Why couldn't I hear him, Alice?" Bella asked quietly, slowly dripping water from her fingers onto her knee.

"Because he was never there. You know that, Bella." Alice's tone wasn't necessarily condescending but Bella could definitely tell that the petit vampire was talking down to her as if she were a child. However, Bella remained silent about it. Deep down within the part of her that was still sane, she knew that Alice was right; Alice had always been right. Alice had now crossed her legs and was staring out the window again. A flimsy cloud was covering the sun and every so often little glimmers of light would cascade through the window. It would hit Alice's striking face in little sections and make it gleam, reflecting along the bathroom tiles.

Bella felt a yearning within her as she stared at the Cullen. It was a longing to touch yet again; to simply be nearer to the vampire and feel her cold skin through her warm hands. Bella shivered at the thought. She'd already done that once, and nearly broke Alice in half. She wouldn't dare do that again. From the other side of the bathroom Alice closed her eyes for a moment. Then she gave a light scoff, a smile resuming her features, and shook her head.

"What is it?"

"Billy Black has finally made the decision to come over. How nice of your father to leave you in such caring hands," she answered, the glare coming back to her face. Bella bit her lower lip, almost afraid to say anything more. She what Alice had meant and she didn't really have any grounds to back up Billy on. So instead, she sighed and looked over at Alice, who had turned at the noise.

"Can you hand me the shampoo?" she asked, looking up at the small shelves on the showerhead that held her products. Under the water she wrinkled her toes and even in that small movement the gashes had burned. Bella was frightened to move. Alice stood and headed over to the tub. As she grabbed the shampoo, she looked down at Bella in the water. The water was tinted red with blood. However, the dilution of it almost made it unappetizing. And yet through the tint, she could see Bella's naked body. Her soft, round breasts just hidden underneath, slightly toned stomach that had to have been genetic considering Bella's athleticism, and her thighs, once so enticing, now just mangled. She was still gorgeous. And even with all that had happened, if Bella asked, she knew that she take her again. But, all that Bella asked for was shampoo.

She handed the item down to Bella and picked up the conditioner, staring at the label and smelling its fragrance. It was too strong for her senses and she quickly pulled her head away. She heard Bella giggle but just as she turned to look down at her, Bella submerged her head underwater and began to rinse her hair. Alice wrinkled her nose at this. Clearly, Bella hadn't seen the tint of the water. When Bella came back up, Alice pulled the drain and turned on the faucet again. "Bella, you'll have to wash your hair standing. This water is disgusting…from human standards."

"H-how will I-

"I'll hold you up."

Alice then started the shower and removed her jacket, revealing only a tank top. Bella stole a quick glance and noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra through the thin material. Not that she'd need it anyway. Casting her jacket aside, Alice leaned over the tub, resulting in her getting soaked by the shower, and wrapped an arm around Bella's midsection. The skin on skin interaction plus the coolness of Alice's hand caused Bella to shiver with anticipation. Slowly, she lifted, Bella upwards until she was standing very lightly on her feet. Bella smiled softly at her and began to wash her hair again.

Alice had also shivered at their touch, though it went unnoticed by Bella. Her hand wrapped around Bella's warm, slippery skin would have surely made her break out in a sweat if such was still possible. Bella closed her eyes and tilted her head back to rinse, further exposing her breasts to Alice. She looked down at them and noticed that she was just mere inches away. She raised her free hand and slowly began to move it towards them, lost of rational thought. At that moment, Bella pulled her head forward and Alice decided instead to run her free fingers through her own wet hair.

Alice mentally slapped herself as Bella worked on her conditioner. How could she be so naïve? Why was she allowing Bella to get to her like this after all she's done? Alice shook her head sadly. Love. Absolute love and adoration for Bella Swan caused her to be like this. She'd never known herself to be so weak, to be so blinded.

Bella had now finished and, while still holding her up, Alice grabbed a towel and handed it to her, adjusting as necessary as she dried herself off. Then, without warning, Alice grabbed the towel, wrapped it around Bella, and scooped her up, minding the legs. Without a word she set her down on the toilet seat. Bella watched as she took a step back and shook her head like a dog, splashing water everywhere. Alice then went to the medicine cabinet and grabbed some gauze and ointment before sitting on the floor before Bella's legs.

"I've just realized something," she chirped as she folded the towel upwards and got out the ointment.

"What have you noticed?"

"With your legs so battered, the only thing that will be comfortable for you to wear…is a dress." She grinned maliciously at Bella who only scoffed.

"I'll just endure the pain."

"No you won't, I've seen it."

Bella grumbled at Alice's remark which caused her laugh. Then all was quiet for a few minutes as Alice tended Bella's legs. Alice, though being gentle, applied the disinfectant to a deep wound, causing Bella to hiss. Immediately Alice drew back, looking up at her with concerned eyes.

"I'm fine, Alice," Bella started, watching as the vampire went back to work. "A-Alice, how are you not…I mean, all the blood is…?" She drifted, unable to fully grasp what she was trying to say. Alice gave a light hum and then went to the gauze.

"It's just…not so in control of me anymore. I guess I've gotten used to it. Or maybe I'm in denial, I don't really know."

"Oh…why did you come back, Alice?"

Alice sighed and leaned back against the wall. She looked pained and Bella wondered if she'd said the wrong thing. "Well, you weren't in the best of states when I first saw you. And you certainly weren't any better after I left. It would seem illogical of me to live your pain-provoking self alone after all of the angst we created together." She paused, looking down for a moment. "I didn't think you'd actually do it though, Bella. Until I had the vision I would have never thought that you would do something like that." Her tone was worried now, sincere. Bella rubbed her watering eyes and looked away.

"I didn't either. I don't know what came over me."

Alice nodded, tracing her fingers along the gauze. "You know, I was going to leave after I'd cleaned the carpet. I figured that you were still the same, that you would just keep trying." She smiled softly. "I don't think you're going to hurt yourself again."

"No, I'm won't. I promise."

"Thank you."

Bella sighed, feeling the mood of the room relaxing. Alice was now bandaging her legs and though they stung a little, she couldn't complain too much. "So, where's Jasper? How's he doing?" Bella saw Alice twitch just ever so slightly at her words. Then she closed her eyes and took a breath, opening them again to look at Bella.

"Billy's here. I'll go tell him that you're in good hands." She stood up and grabbed her jacket, only to turn around again. "Is that okay with you? I'm sorry, I didn't even ask." She smiled softly and Bella nodded. Edward would have just headed out the door, no questions asked. Alice returned the nod and kissed Bella on the forehead. "I'll be back soon." And she flitted out the door.

Bella stared after her, water from her hair dripping onto her shoulders. She heard a car door open outside and voices getting heated but she didn't really register what was going on. All she could think about was Alice's reaction and if it was towards Billy, or Jasper.


	5. Chapter 5

Love and Lust

Alice headed slowly down the stairs, timing her arrival to the door with Billy's arrival to the house. She didn't want to worry Bella by telling her, but this little chat wouldn't go so well. She reached the door just a little early and paused to look through the peephole. Suddenly, a foul smelling aroma filled her senses. It was like the smell of wet mutt on steroids and she wrinkled her nose as the truck pulled in the drive. A dog, a werewolf. Bella had gone off and made friends with a werewolf. To hide her revulsion, Alice started breathing through her mouth and opened the door, choosing to wait and allow them to make the first move.

"Ugh," Jacob wrinkled his nose, throwing a sleeve across his face, "do you smell that, Dad?" Billy shook his head but eyed his son with a worried expression. Jacob took in one more brief scent before a growl emitted through him. "They've come back. There's a leech there."

"Well, if there is, they've smelled you too. Better take it easy, Jacob. They'll just want to talk most likely."

"Talk my ass,"

"Remember Bella, Jacob. We don't wanna set one of 'em off with her nearby. I'd like to think that they feel the same."

Jacob nodded, heaving a great sigh through his mouth as the truck pulled in the driveway. Jacob watched as the door opened, revealing the shortest vampire. Alice was her name, he thought. She stood in front of the screen, watching Jacob, waiting for his move. He leaned forward in his seat, growling softly. She must have heard him for she raised both of her hands in peace. Though he hated all bloodsuckers, Jacob couldn't deny that Alice had always seemed the most compassionate, the most logical with the exception of Carlisle. However, he knew he couldn't take too many chances with this kind. Jacob waited for just a few seconds more before flinging open the door angrily and stalking up to the house. Alice slowly pushed open the screen door, eyes locked on him, and stepped outside. As Jacob neared, that sickening sweet smell was almost enough to make him gag. He threw his sleeve over his nose again and tried breathing through his mouth. Alice's face remained stolid.

"Would you like to come inside and talk?" she asked without any hesitation in her voice.

"No, the only thing keeping me from vomiting at the stench is the wind," Jacob growled, glaring at her. Much his surprise, Alice looked momentarily pained.

"You know, you don't smell all that great to me either. The least you could do is be less blunt about it for courtesy's sake." Her comment had actually made an impact on Jacob, but he refused to let her see that.

"Yeah right, leech. Like I'm gonna do anything you say."

Alice, though keeping her expression emotionless, darted her eyes to the side briefly. Jacob sneer beneath his sleeve at the fact that he'd angered her. However she soon returned his gaze and gave him a large smile. "It's funny that Bella hasn't mentioned you. I'm Alice," she chimed, not holding out her hand for obvious reasons. The idea of cracking one another's hand was far too enticing.

"So, Alice, you're a pixie from Wonderland, aren't you? I've always thought that."

"How mature; please, I'm trying to keep this civil. I don't want either of us to get angry while Bella's so near. You're her friend; please consider what I'm saying."

Jacob growled again and looked back at his father, who'd been right in his assumption. Neither one of them wanted a conflict. Stiffly, he lowered his sleeve, muttering, "I'm Jacob." Alice smiled kindly at him and gave one nod.

"It's…nice to meet you, Jacob. I know that you're coming over to help Bella but I think I've got her handled," she said softly. Jacob grimaced at her and began to shake violently. Alice knew what was coming and took a step back, allowing him time to control himself.

"Charlie told us to come over, fucking leech," he barked through clenched teeth. Alice glowered. Civility was lost on this mutt. She continued to stay a few steps back but lowered herself into a defensive posture. Fighting him was the last thing she wanted to do but she wouldn't dare let Jacob get so close to her in this state.

"Bella's asked me to stay,"

"I swear to God I'll rip you're bloodsucking throat out,"

"Calm down, Jacob. You're in public. We can talk about this civilly but I'm not just gonna sit here and have a war with words,"

"You think you're better than me?"

"I know I've got more control than you." She paused, her expression softening as she looked him over. "You're young, Jacob, a newborn. I know you don't want to do this."

Her stupid, chiming, pretty voice was ringing through his ears as he shut his eyes. The words continued to dance through his mind as he took deep, even breaths. Slowly, his spasms decreased along with his heart rate. As soon as he was sure that he wouldn't attack if he saw her again, Jacob opened his eyes. She was standing a few feet in front of him. Her expression was calm and her eyes were open. Slowly, Jacob took one more step forward.

"Look, you don't know what happened to her,"

"She jumped off of a cliff,"

"Yeah but you weren't there,"

"You were?"

"I saved her,"

Alice hesitated for a moment and then relaxed, giving him a faint smile. "I see. In that case, allow me to thank you for saving her. I'm…indebted to you."

Jacob stiffened at her words. He wasn't sure what to make of this little pixie. "You're…different from the others,"

"I'm not, actually. I'm just the most patient other than Carlisle,"

"Patience doesn't get our kind very far,"

"So I've noticed,"

All was quiet for a moment. Jacob looked upwards at the second story of the house. "Is she decent? Can I go up there?"

Alice shook her head slowly. "She's up there, but she's not decent." As if to prove her statement true, Alice opened her jacket to show Jacob her soaked shirt. It wasn't poor judgment. In fact, Alice thought of it as a sort of way to keep the peace. Jacob, being a guy, noticed her wet shirt and what was beneath it. He looked for only a moment before forcing himself to look away, cursing himself all the while. Alice just smiled and closed her jacket. "I had to help her take a bath. It was rather messy. She's still in the bathroom."

"Another time, then?"

"If you don't mind,"

Jacob scoffed. "As much as I'd love to see Bella in the tub, something tells me she'd have you kill me." They both laughed at this before Jacob caught himself, remembering who they were. His eyes narrowed as he stared the vampire down. "I'll go peacefully this time. But if you do anything, anything to her, I'll shred you pieces." Alice nodded at his words.

"Trust me, if I did anything to her, I'd willingly jump into your teeth."

Jacob growled to show the truth in his words. He was sufficiently shocked, however, when Alice growled back. A snarl so fierce that had he not seen it with his own eyes, would never have guessed it could come from such a little thing. He stared at her for just a moment longer before racing over to the truck and climbing in.

"Seeya, Wonderland," he muttered from the truck.

"Bye, Fido," Alice finished, watching him smirk before the truck started. Alice stayed, the both of them watching each other until the truck turned down the road and sped off. Once it was out of sight, Alice gave a humorous sigh in that it was finished and headed back upstairs to Bella.

She was still sitting on the toilet, waiting for her. Her head jerked upwards as she entered the room. "Hey, Alice, how'd it go?" she asked. Alice feigned anger that she could only tell looked convincing by the way Bella's expression changed.

"You didn't tell me you were friends with a werewolf."

"Oh…I thought you wouldn't notice."

"Are you kidding? I could smell him from down the block." Alice sighed and sat on the edge of the tub across from Bella. "You probably should have told me he was a werewolf."

"Did it go badly?"

"Well, we're both still alive," she sighed, then shrugged. "It was fine. He'll come back to visit later."

"Jacob's sometimes got a temper, how'd you guys manage to talk?"

"Oh, I have a couple of ways…"

"Such as?"

"I distracted him."

"With what?"

Alice smirked and opened her jacket again, revealing her wet t-shirt to Bella. Bella stared at her wet breasts that strained against the tight fabric of the shirt. The water filled every curve and showed them off perfectly. She felt her throat becoming dry as Alice closed her jacket again. Her movement awoke Bella from her stupor and she coughed awkwardly.

"I can see how those would be d-distracting to Jacob."

Alice giggled and nodded, examining Bella's legs. "Well, you're all patched up now; let's see if we can't find you something to wear." With that, she scooped Bella up and carried her back to her bedroom, placing her gently on the bed. Once she was settled, Alice dashed over to the closet and began to sift through it. As suspected, there were no skirts or dresses…except one. And Alice didn't dare pick that one. It was Bella's prom dress. That held too many memories, good and bad.

Bella was watching her from the bed. She saw Alice notice the prom dress for a moment, then quickly move past it. If she were capable, Bella would have gone over and hugged her for her sincerity. She eyed the blue dress and sighed. She closed her eyes and remembered when Edward had picked her up. He looked so handsome. She remembered the embarrassment at having thought that they were going to change her and then actually having a good time at the dance. She remembered Edward's smile and the way he'd held her hand on the way home. It was all so comfortable. What changed that made him want to leave? Tears began to fill her eyes as she started to cry quietly. However, it wasn't quiet enough for the vampire not to notice.

Alice turned sharply at the sound and saw Bella sobbing on the bed. Slowly, she went over to her and sat down. Bella turned and stared at her with tear stained eyes. "Alice, why did he leave?" she asked as she fell into the vampire's arms. Alice sighed, closing her eyes as she placed her hands on Bella's back and rubbed them soothingly.

"Edward…has a sort of confused notion of chivalry," she returned, kissing the top of Bella's head. Bella smiled at Alice's touch and raised her head to look her in the eye.

"What do you mean?"

"Please don't get me wrong on this, Bella. Edward is a very, very compassionate person. But, sometimes what he considers to be the 'greater good' is only really good for his piece of mind. I'd call it selfishness except that he doesn't know he's doing it. Does that make sense?"

"Kind of…"

Alice sighed and gently lifted Bella upward so that they were facing eye to eye. Then she gave Bella a comforting smile and cupped her cheek, wiping a stray tear with her thumb.

"When Edward made the decision to leave, he thought it would be for your betterment. He thought that you would be free from harm and that you would be better off. What he failed to think about was you; how you would be affected by it. He didn't think about how much you would hurt, your decision in the matter, our decision in the matter…" Alice drifted, clenching her jaw tightly as she looked away for a moment. Bella had listened intently to her and with each word Alice spoke she began to feel just a little bit angry. She still loved Edward after all. And though his decision had hurt her, she knew it was for the best.

"Edward wasn't being selfish. He was doing it to keep me safe," she replied in a curt manner.

"I didn't say he was. I said he didn't know. And he really didn't do a good job of that, did he?" Alice responded, waving to Bella's bandages. Talking of Edward had already made her angry. She didn't need Bella's argument right now, but she wasn't going to relinquish her opinion.

"I did that of my own accord."

"To hear his voice,"

"He loves me, Alice!"

"Then why isn't he here?" Alice shouted so loudly that it made Bella jump. Alice glared at her for a moment before standing from the bed to pace around the room. She was so livid she could hardly see straight. But testing temper on a human was something that shouldn't be taken lightly. One small shove from Alice could crack Bella's neck. She knew this and took even breaths to try and calm down. Bella huffed, crossing her arms on the bed. Alice just didn't understand.

"Okay then, Alice, what would you do if you were in his situation? Would you stay here and keep your lover in danger? That seems pretty selfish to me."

Alice turned and glared down at Bella from where she stood. A growl crept into her throat, low and intimidating. Bella scoffed at her silence. "See, you have no idea the depth Edward and I have."

That did it.

Alice leapt back onto the bed, jerking Bella to face her and grabbed her wrists. She was angry, but not enough that she hurt Bella. Just enough to make her point. "What would I do, Bella? I'll tell you." She gave an almost maniacal grin. "If Ireally loved someone, I'd stay by their side to the end of time. I'd stay with them and protect them from the danger I was keeping them in to show the depths I'd go to for our love. I'd much rather love you by your side than from afar. I'd want you to die peacefully in my arms knowing you were happy rather than reading it in an obituary and wondering for eternity. If you felt the same, I'd make sure you were happy and safe, not safe and alone."

She continued her hold on Bella for just a few seconds more, her breaths ragged from her speech. Then she cast Bella's wrists aside as if they were trash and looked away. Bella stared at her profile for what seemed like an eternity. That was it. That was real love, real devotion. She didn't know what she had with Edward, but his absence proved that it wasn't true love. Alice sighed greatly and lifted her head, forcing herself to meet Bella's eyes. "Do you understand now?" she finished weakly.

Bella nodded once before taking Alice's face in her hands and pulling her into a fierce kiss. Alice groaned into her mouth and ran a hand through Bella's hair, slowly pushing her down onto the bed. As soon as she lay down, Bella flipped the vampire onto her back and ripped her still wet top off. The breasts that she'd had only hints of were now fully exposed to her, gleaming in the shadows of the day that drifted through her window. Bella smiled at Alice and lowered her head to kiss her again while her left hand cupped her breast, massaging it slowly. Alice moaned again and bit down on Bella's lower lip as she fumbled with Bella's own shirt.

They broke apart for only a moment while Bella helped Alice lift her shirt. Then Alice chose to devour Bella's neck, licking and sucking on spots that made Bella shiver and gasp for more. Bella's hand was caressing the vampire's smooth stomach, moving lower with each slow circle she made. Just as her hand brushed against the waistband of Alice's pants, Alice bit lightly down on her neck. Bella groaned and hissed, "Alice…"

Alice's eyes shot open then. Suddenly, she shot upright, almost knocking Bella off of the bed. "Alice, what's wrong?" Bella asked between ragged breaths. Alice looked around and shook her head.

"Please get up, Bella. I'm not doing this again."

"Not doing wha…" Bella drifted as she made realization of Alice's words. She smiled down at Alice and cupped her face in her hands. "Alice, I want you this time." Alice looked up at her with an expression that nearly broke Bella's heart in two. It was so hurt, so unsure.

"How do I know that, Bella? Please, let me up."

Bella unwillingly complied, slowly pushing herself to the side while trying not to hurt her knees. Alice swung her legs off of the bed and scooped down to pick up her shirt. This scene was all too familiar to Bella and she crawled to the edge of the bed, ignoring the pain. "Alice, please, I thought you loved me." Alice sighed, throwing her eyes to the ceiling as she pulled the shirt over her head.

"I do love you, Bella. But you don't love me. There's a difference between lust and love. I've already sampled your lust. I want the latter. Please don't hurt yourself tonight. I'll be back sometime later."

Before Bella could respond, Alice gave one skip and vanished out the window without another sound. Bella sighed, a tear falling down her trembling lip as she heard the sounds of Charlie's cruiser pulling into the driveway.


	6. Chapter 6

Various Assortments of Dishware

Bella sat on the edge of her bed. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her torso. Charlie had long since said goodnight and retired to bed, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Alice was the primary thought, of course. Bella's skin still tingled from her lingering touch. Slowly, she brought her fingers to her lips, dragging them slowly down each one. Alice's kisses were so soft, even in the mix of passion. Even while blinded by lust, Bella's comfort and safety were priority. It was hard for Bella to wrap her mind around. She knew that she was always in the best interest of the Cullens in terms of safety. But it always seemed like they were obligated to protect her because of Edward.

It wasn't this way with Alice. With Alice, her protection didn't seem like such a convenience. It seemed natural. And, if Bella had the means, she was sure that she would strive to protect Alice in the same manner. What frightened Bella the most was the carnal need. She needed to be near Alice, needed to feel her. It was just like she'd felt for Edward except more…prevalent.

Bella shook her head at the thought of it. Honestly, how many times could she hurt Alice? Almost subconsciously, Bella reached down and scratched at the skin of her thigh. It stung horribly, but in a new manner. Bella needed to feel punished for her cruelty to Alice. Alice was too good a person to do it properly. However as quickly as she'd touched, Bella pulled away. Alice had asked her not to touch herself tonight and Bella would respect it. She had to show Alice that she cared, even if it was for the simplest of demands.

Because she loved her. She loved Alice. She always had. She'd just been blinded by Edward.

The realization hit her right as the curtains by her window shuffled. Bella jerked to her right, but nothing was there. Rolling her eyes, she looked to her left and found Alice sitting next to her on the bed. She gave Bella a wary smile and Bella laughed.

"Must you always trick me like that?"

"It's not a trick; you're just too slow to catch on."

Bella scoffed and watched as Alice's expression relaxed. However, the stress and pain were still quite evident in her golden eyes. Her hands were folded neatly over her tiny lap and Bella placed her hand over the both of them. Alice looked down at her hands and sighed heavily. "Bella…"

"Shh…" Bella hushed, putting her free hand under the vampire's chin and lifting her head. When their eyes met, Bella almost jumped backwards. No longer was Alice this confident, 109 year old vampire, but a scared teenage girl, tired of being used. And Bella held the condom, so to speak, of course. "Alice," she started slowly, "I love you. I always have. I'm…sorry for all that I've put you through. I know that's not enough but I want to spend the rest of eternity making it up to you."

Alice's full, pouting lips curved upward into a relieved smile and she leaned forward to embrace Bella. Welcoming was the cold stone in Bella's arms and she sighed as she placed her lips to the vampire's neck, inhaling again. The scent of Alice Cullen is forever intoxicating. As quickly as it happened, Alice pulled away from the embrace, grasping Bella's wrists gently. She gave a short smile at the confused expression Bella held and sighed again.

"Bella, I'm glad you've made a decision, but I'm afraid I can't trust you yet. You've been through some severe trauma, emotional and otherwise. I'd like to start out just as friends. That way if progresses, it does so naturally. And if it doesn't, that's fine also."

Bella blinked a few times and looked away. She wanted Alice now. But she couldn't deny the vampire was right. The least she could do was prove to her that she had some self restraint. And having Alice for a friend was better than not having Alice at all. So she nodded and was pulled into another hug. When they broke apart again, Bella noticed that Alice was frowning at her. Self-consciously, Bella ran a hand through her hair. "W-what?" she asked. Alice, in response, cupped Bella's cheek, her thumb tracing the black rings around her eyes.

"When's the last time you've slept?" she asked quietly, obviously in shock. Bella closed her eyes, noticing how much it stung to do so, and thought for a moment.

"I guess about three days."

"Bed. Now."

Before Bella could respond, she was already on her back and the covers were being drawn over her body. Panic consumed her as she watched Alice step away from the bed and she shot up. "Alice, please don't leave," she whispered. Alice hushed her by placing a finger over her lips and shook her head.

"I'll be right here. It's cold enough already with your window broken. You don't need me there beside you."

"Yes I do."

"Don't you think that's more than friendly?"

Bella frowned sadly but respected Alice's wishes and turned over so that she faced the wall. Alice wasn't lying; it was extremely cold with the broken window. Bella shivered as she pulled her thin comforter over her shoulders. Her body began to shiver and she knew it would be awhile before she generated enough warmth to keep her comfortable. There was a shuffling from inside of her room but before she could move to look, a thicker blanket was placed over her. Bella twisted her neck upwards to see Alice, tucking the blanket in around her sides. She smiled warmly down at Bella who returned it before snuggling in.

"Good night, Alice."

"Sleep well, Bella."

There was shuffling across the carpet again, and something was glimmering in her eyes. Slowly, she opened one eye, adjusting it to the glare. Someone in her room cursed and she smiled as she focused on Alice. She was straddling the windowsill. The rarity known as the sun was in full bloom today and Bella felt herself growing dizzy as she saw Alice's angelic face lit up with diamonds. It was only after a few moments of gawking that Bella noticed Alice had planned on leaving.

"Where are you going?" Bella half whimpered as she stared at Alice. Alice sighed and climbed back into her room.

"I wasn't leaving permanently. Your father's at the hardware store. When he comes back he's going to fix your window. I figured I shouldn't be here so I was going to leave and come back. And I didn't want to wake her." Her last line was chiding. She didn't want Bella to wake up. She'd never get back to sleep and Lord knew she still needed a lot of it. Bella continued to wince in the light of the sun but managed to sit up, rubbing them softly.

"Well, Charlie's going to wake me up anyway when he comes in to fix the window. And you guys need to meet again….Why don't you just carry me downstairs? We can draw the curtains."

Alice sighed, stepping towards Bella and sitting down by her feet. She thought silently for a moment, then turned to Bella with an intimidating glare. "Just promise me you'll try to sleep more when you're down there."

"I promise."

Alice acknowledged her word with a nod and extended her arms. Bella grinned, for Alice always asked for permission, and nodded. In one scoop, Bella, a pillow and the comforter were pulled into Alice's arms. Bella always thought it awkward when the 4'10, 98 pound vampire carried her effortlessly down a flight of stairs but the feel of Alice's arms around her was more than comforting. They reached bottom step before Bella could even blink and by the time she did blink, she was already seated on the sofa. Alice, in a motherly manner, pushed Bella onto the couch and pulled the blankets over her, tucking her in again. Bella rested her head against the pillow and sighed contentedly.

"I'm so glad that Charlie will get to see you again."

"Will you enjoy watching various assortments of dishware being thrown at my head?"

"Charlie likes you. He always has."

"He liked me and always had. A lot's changed since I've last seen him. No doubt my family is the blame for your injuries. As is deserved for one member…." Alice's last line was an angry mutter but Bella heard it nonetheless. She wondered briefly about her and Edward's relationship since they'd gone but decided it was for the best to drop it. Alice seemed to drop her anger just as quickly, plastering a smile on her face and resuming her bubbly disposition. "Are you going back to sleep?"

"I don't think I can…"

"Are you hungry?"

On cue, Bella's stomach gave a low rumble and she blushed as she cradled it. Thankfully, Alice gave her no grief but merely went into the kitchen, calling as she left, "It's after noon, did you want breakfast or lunch?"

"After noon?" Bella questioned as she glanced at the clock. Sure enough, it was almost one o'clock. She'd been sleeping for almost thirteen hours. How on earth could she need any more sleep? Her stomach growled again as she considered easy choices of food for Alice to make. "Could I just have a ham and cheese sandwich?" she called out to her. Alice didn't respond but in a few minutes she walked out of the kitchen with the sandwich and a glass of water.

"Cooking…ish is fun," she commented as she sat the plate in front of Bella and sat down beside her.

"I'll have to teach you more then."

"Oh would you? I'd love to learn." Bella grinned as she watched Alice's face brighten.

"You've never cooked before?"

"There was no reason to until you came around."

"Good point. I'd be happy to teach you."

Alice put her arm around Bella's waist and gave her a quick hug before scooting back and watching with fascination as Bella at her meal. When Bella had finished, she looked to the clock again and gave a lazy yawn. "That food made me tired…again." Alice nodded and stood up, lowering her back onto the couch.

"I'm not surprised. Try to sleep." Before Bella could respond, she was out again, cradling the pillow closer to her face and humming in contentment. Alice smiled as she watched Bella sleep, daring one more movement across her forehead to remove the stray hair. Bella gave a short grin at her touch and Alice noted that it disappeared when she removed her hand. Alice sighed, staring down at the human that had single handedly shown her ancient vampyric family new forms of living. This was probably the only instance that Alice Cullen could say she hadn't seen it coming.

Alice sat, watching Bella sleep for about an hour before she heard the sound of Charlie's cruiser coming down the road. Not wanting him to wake Bella, Alice chose to do the same that she'd done with Jacob. She silently pulled the door open and waited for Charlie to notice her before she stepped outside. Thankfully, the sun had retreated behind the clouds again. It was humorous for a moment because the poor human didn't notice her until he'd exited his car with his hardware and was heading towards the door. Once he did see her, however, he stopped suddenly, looking on with an intent glare, as if he didn't believe she were real.

Taking a deep breath, Alice quietly opened the door and stepped outside towards Charlie. "Hello, Charlie," she began softly, waiting patiently for whatever he was going to throw at her.

"Jesus Christ…" Charlie began, setting the window panes down to rest against his leg.

"In the flesh," Alice answered, looking hopefully into his eyes. Charlie gawked for a few moments more before his face became stern.

"Bella told me you'd come by but I didn't know if she was telling the truth or not. She'd also said that Edward didn't come."

"She's right. Edward's not here. It's just me."

Charlie relaxed just a bit, however his eyes were still hard. "I can't say I'm not happy to see you. I just…Bella's been going through something lately…I don't know if a visit from you is what she needs." Alice nodded at his words, taking them in. She took a few steps closer to him and let her shoulders fall.

"I got a call from Jacob Black the day she…you know. He said that she was in trouble. I came as soon as I could. And, I think my visit has…helped her. She seems happier and she hasn't brought up Edward. If you want me to go though, I will. Just ask that I can say goodbye to her." She hung her head. Of course she didn't think Charlie would ask her to live but if he did, her meetings with Bella would just have to take place while he was at work. Charlie muttered gibberish under his breath and then shook his shoulders.

"Hell, I can't do that to Bella if you think she's happy." He paused for a moment, his eyes becoming somber. "I just…I don't know what to do now. Bella's always been a happy kid. I never expected this…"

"No one did, Charlie. You're a good father, being so patient with her."

Charlie nodded, giving Alice a short grin. "I will admit, Alice, you're the one I missed the most. Bella was always so happy when you were around." Alice smiled in spite of herself and motioned to one of the window panes.

"Bella's sleeping in the living room. Can I help you with this project?" She bent down to pick up a pane.

"Do you know how to install one of these?" Charlie asked skeptically, to which Alice shook her head. He chuckled, "All right then, I'll show you."

Bella awoke to the sounds of someone laughing. Slowly, she raised her head and peaked over the couch. Charlie was sitting at the table with a sandwich, presumably made by Alice, talking and laughing with the vampire. As Bella sat up, Alice turned around and beamed at her. "Good afternoon, Bella," she chirped as she attempted to fix her hair.

"Good afternoon," Bella replied groggily. With Alice's support, she limped over to the table and sat next to Charlie. "Hey, Dad," she greeted warmly as Alice set next to her.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie answered, noting the content gleam in his daughter's eyes. Bella sighed as she situated the warm blanket around herself and looked around the table at her father and Alice.

"So, I take it you two already go reacquainted?"

"Alice helped me put in your new windows. We talked a lot, as we had to redo them a few times," Charlie said as he shot a mischievous look towards Alice who held her hands up in surrender.

"Hey, I'd never done it before!"

Bella giggled as Charlie rolled his eyes at her. "Alice was sure that you would throw various assortments of dishware at her the moment you two saw each other."

Charlie feigned being hurt as he looked over at Alice. "Do you really have that little faith in me?"

"What can I say, Charlie? You seem like a hurler to me."

"Well, in that case," Charlie started, finishing off the water in his plastic cup, "I'd better redeem myself." With that, he chucked his glass at Alice, who allowed it to hit her out of sport. Bella watched as Alice squealed and hurled her own glass at him, which was still quite full. It hit him square in the chest, flinging the water upwards onto his face and shirt. Both girls gasped as Charlie gripped the half full cup and glared at Alice.

"Alice, it's on," he said before he bolted from his chair and over to her. Alice screamed again and leapt from her chair to dash outside, Charlie following behind. Bella stood and moved slowly over to the window, watching as Charlie managed to hit Alice with some water. Alice, of course, only grabbed the water hose and proceeded to chase the officer around the yard. Bella fell back onto the couch in a fit of laughter and clutched her sides. Then she sighed and leaned against the back of the couch. For the first time in months, it felt like everything would be alright.


	7. Chapter 7

Silhouette

"I'll have you know, this is all your fault," Bella murmured as she set her book down. She sat cross legged on her bed, her knees fidgeting wildly of their own accord. Alice, who'd been on her knees with her arm resting on the windowsill as she stared out into the night, turned and cocked her head to the side. Bella nodded at her silent question and watched as Alice's lips curved upwards in a smile.

"What, pray tell, is my fault?" she asked softly, standing from her crouched position and heading over to sit on the edge of the bed.

"This," Bella replied matter-of-factly as she gestured towards her fidgeting legs. Alice stared at them, noticing that the swelling had gone down, but nothing more. Subconsciously, she reached out and traced one finger over Bella's ankle, the only skin that hadn't fallen victim to depression on her leg.

"I don't follow you," she said as she removed her finger, skimming it over the newly washed bed sheets. She heard Bella sigh with feigned annoyance and looked up shyly to meet her eyes. Bella was semi-glaring at her with one eyebrow precariously raised. A smile was tempting at the corners of her mouth but it had yet to break free. She motioned to her legs again, to which Alice only shrugged innocently, not giving Bella the satisfaction of looking again at them. Bella then fell backwards onto the bed giving a melodramatic groan. Alice's mouth twitched slightly in a smile but she forced herself to remain firm as she watched Bella sit up again.

"I'm referring to my fidgety legs," Bella told her smartly. "Had you not forced me to sleep for fifteen-ish hours I might be asleep right now! But you've thrown off my whole cycle!" For extra emphasis, she threw her arms in the air and fell back onto the bed again. Alice grinned, taking note of the playful gleam in Bella's eye and leaned over her, feigning anger.

"Firstly, you didn't have a cycle. You were an insomniac. Secondly, did you just happen to forget the two cans of your father's Red Bull that you drank out of sheer boredom?"

Bella frowned, knowing that she'd been caught, and allowed herself to smile. Alice rolled her eyes and offered her hand to the girl, pulling her back up into a sitting position. "I wouldn't have been so bored if you would think of something do to."

"Oh, so it's my job, is it?"

"You're the superhuman here!"

Alice laughed quietly, rubbing Bella's cold hands. She looked over at the clock and saw that it was almost four a.m. The sun would be rising in a few hours. Bella watched as a mischievous grin appeared on her lips before she turned to face her. "Today's Sunday, right?"

"Right,"

"I've an idea. But first, you have to change," Alice said as she leapt off of the bed and darted towards the closet. Bella watched her fretfully and glanced out the window. It looked dark and cold…and dark. She really hoped that they weren't heading out there. Sure, she could welcome vampires and werewolves into her home but the dark was what scared her. What a lame-o. Bella was torn from her thoughts as a sweatshirt was thrown at her face. "Come on! Don't tell me that you're tired now?" Alice half-moaned, giving Bella a pouting look.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked as she pulled the shirt over her head.

"Switzerland,"

"Haha…where are we going?"

"I'm not telling you. You can see when we get there."

"So…we're leaving?"

Alice huffed, slightly annoyed at Bella's obvious questions. "Well, Bella, do you see anything of any interest in your room right now?" While almost unnoticeable, Bella did hear the twinge of annoyance in Alice's voice and hung her head as she said a quiet 'no.' Alice, being even more perceptive than Bella picked up on Bella's sadness and any frustration she felt was cast out the window. Picking up another jacket, she made her way over to Bella and sat on the bed. Her head was still lowered and Alice placed a hand under her chin, lifting her up to meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry…I was just excited. And you're bringing me down." She smiled, hoping Bella would register the joke. Bella returned it, though it was clearly fake, and nodded. Alice glared playfully. "Bewwa, don't do this to me!" She protruded her lower lip, making her best pouting face on record. Bella's smile widened just a bit more though the dejection was still evident in her eyes.

"I just…I don't want to feel like a burden to you," she murmured as she attempted to take the jacket. However Alice's hand held it firm.

"Bella, you couldn't be a burden if you tried. If you must consider yourself something, think of yourself as a never-ending adventure that I wouldn't trade for all of the blood in China."

Bella laughed at this and Alice noticed that she really did feel better. "What a morbid take on such a racist cliché," Bella muttered as she was able to take the jacket from Alice's hand and zipped it up. Alice's laughter filled the room but before Bella could even smile to herself, she felt herself being scooped up into her arms. Alice picked her up and swung her around the room effortlessly three times, listening to Bella's muffled squeals. Then, she slowed and pulled Bella into an embrace, resting her head in the crook of Bella's neck. All Bella could do was hug her back; the actions had been so quick.

"I don't ever want to see you look like that again," Alice whispered into her ear. "Sad, unwanted…" Alice squeezed her tightly, closing her eyes as Bella began to rub her back soothingly. "I-I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I never want to make you feel that way." Alice was rambling now, she knew it. But she couldn't seem to stop herself. The look on Bella's face… the sheer, raw hurt. Alice had seen it too many times in her visions after Edward's leaving. It broke her heart every time she shut her eyes. But it wasn't supposed to be her fault. She didn't want to be like Edward. She never wanted to be like Edward.

"I won't, Alice," Bella answered softly, gripping the vampire as tightly as she could. Tears were filling her eyes and she really didn't know why. Alice was so…so caring, so compassionate. It was so different from what she knew. But she knew she liked it. Alice pulled away slowly, smiling as she wiped Bella's eyes. Then she grabbed her hand and a blanket and led her to the window. She pulled it open slowly and then casually hopped out onto the tree branch that awaited her. Once she was situated, she extended her hand to Bella.

"Come on, Bella," she urged. Tentatively, Bella reached out to Alice, relishing in slight relief at the firm grip that welcomed her. "I won't let you fall," Alice teased, smirking. Bella nodded then lifted herself out of the window. Before she could even register a fear of falling, she was gripped tightly in Alice's arms. Alice smiled down at her before jumping from the second story branch and landing on the ground. Bella instinctively gripped at the vampire's shoulders only to be pleasantly surprised when the landing felt like stepping down two steps at once. She released a huge sigh and Alice giggled as she adjusted her to a bridal position. "Hold on tight." Bella nodded and Alice took off into the woods.

Bella's first thought was that it was damn cold. The wind was whipping at her face and given the already chilled night, the speed wasn't helping. As if she'd read her thoughts, Alice placed the blanket she was holding in Bella's lap. Bella smiled gratefully up at her before wrapping it around herself. She'd gotten quite used to this whole 'running' thing, provided that she didn't look around. Just as Bella was starting to feel really comfortable, Alice slowed. She tried to look around but it was still too dark to really see anything. All she knew was that she was outside…and damn cold again.

Alice set her down wordlessly and took the blanket from her, wrapping it around Bella snugly. "Have a seat," the vampire requested to her as Bella heard her plop down on the ground. Bella followed the action, noting how awkward it was to sit with a blanket wrapped around her. As she sat down, she noted that she was sitting on rock, a boulder of some sort. She heard Alice sigh next to her and glanced that way. She could just barely make out her silhouette.

"Alice, where are we?"

"I'm afraid I'm not going to tell you."

Bella sighed, she figured as much. These vampires were so cryptic all of the time. A cool wind brushed across her cheeks and she nestled further into the blanket. Judging by the silhouette, Alice was just a few inches away. Trusting her eyes, Bella fell over to her right, making contact with Alice's shoulder. Then she sighed contentedly and snuggled just a bit closer. She heard Alice's even breathing next to her and closed her eyes. Aside from Alice, all she could hear was the sound of rushing water. Okay, outside, river, boulder…they were in the forest. That got her nowhere in Forks, Washington.

Alice shifted, moving Bella closer and wrapping her arm around her shoulders. "Are you too cold?" she asked in a voice that matched the peace. Bella shook her head against the vampire and smiled.

"You sure have some interesting ways to cure boredom."

"I can take you back if you'd like."

"No, I was complimenting you."

"Oh,"

Alice seemed strangely distant, yet not. It was as if half of her was focusing on Bella and the other half on something else. "What are you thinking about?" Bella finally asked when the silence became too much for her. She heard Alice sigh before all was quiet for a few minutes.

"Oh, you know, things," she responded lamely. Bella frowned, pulling the blanket more tightly around her. Alice instantly righted herself, removing her arm from Bella's shoulder.

"You are too cold," she said guiltily.

"Alice, I swear I'm not," Bella urged. "I was just fixing the blanket. You know your cold skin has the opposite effect on me anyway." Bella watched as Alice's head turned to face her.

"I don't follow you."

"You mean I've never told you?"

"I guess not."

"Oh well…when you…touch me, it feels warm. Is that weird?"

Alice sighed again, "Very…."

"What's wrong, Alice?"

"Hmm?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just thinking."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing,"

Bella groaned, shifting herself upwards so that she was facing Alice. "Is there something wrong?"

"Not that can think of?"

Alice was obviously making this difficult for her. Taking a deep breath, Bella unwrapped herself from the blanket and faced Alice. "How's Jasper?"

The silhouette jerked as a result of Alice sharply turning her head. "He's fine. He's still with Edward."

"I doubt it."

"Well, it's really not your business, is it?" Alice seethed. Bella drew back a bit at Alice's sharp words. She knew she shouldn't have gone there. And this time, she couldn't blame it on Edward. Suddenly, Alice tensed next to her. Bella's eyes widened, fearing that she'd done something that would cause her to be inconsolable. However, just a few moments later, Alice turned and Bella felt a hand on her shoulder. "But…thank you for your concern." The words were hard, forced. But Bella accepted them nonetheless. She didn't want to fight. Alice's hand slipped slowly off of her shoulders and Bella caught it in midair. When there was no resistance from the vampire, Bella cradled Alice's hand in both of hers.

Then suddenly, a bright light shone in Bella's face. She grimaced as her eyes got used to it, then focused on what was before her. They were on a boulder alright, one that overlooked a valley with a river flowing through it. To the far left, Bella could make out the infamous baseball field where the Cullens played. It was gorgeous. Bella grinned as she stared at the sunrise, which was a just moment away from disappearing behind the clouds. Then she looked over at Alice who was cascaded in the light. She felt herself gasp as she looked on at the diamond-bedded being beside her and looked down at the hand she held. So beautiful…it almost ached how beautiful she was.

"Bella, I-

Alice was quickly silenced as Bella placed a finger over her lips. Then she crawled over, embraced the vampire in a hug and fell backwards onto the rock, taking Alice with her. When they were both on the ground, Bella adjusted so that her head was resting on Alice's shoulder, her arm draped over her stomach. "I don't want to talk right now," she whispered as she nuzzled into Alice's shirt. "I think I want to take a nap." Bella felt Alice's stomach rise and fall as she chuckled, then wrapped an arm around her.

"I'll be here when you wake up."

"And then we can start the day."

"Yes,"


	8. Chapter 8

Shower Sightings

Bella sighed deeply as the achingly hot water poured down her back. It stung and she looked down at her arms. They were bright red from the intensity. But she needed it hot. She was planning on staying in there until her skin turned from red to blue. It would take longer if the water was searing at first. Her feet had healed a lot and she could now stand on her own for longer periods of time. She sighed again and faced the showerhead, outstretching her hands to rest on the tile in front of her. Then she hung her head and let the water beat down on her skull. She was starting to feel numb and her head began to throb. For a moment she feared that she would pass out. But, if that were the case, Alice would surely see it.

Bella groaned and tried to claw at the tile. Of course, her short nails only caused an annoying squeaking sound to emit from the tile. Alice. The name rang through her mind over and over again causing weakness in her knees and a lump in her throat. She loved Alice. This was more than fact. However, recently Edward had been creeping back into her thoughts. She remembered his honey colored eyes and the crooked smile that always swayed her. He was so strong. But he did have a temper. Bella quivered just a bit as she remembered his barking voice, the rough way in which he would sometimes grab her arms. And yet, she managed to smile. Though embarrassing to admit it, even to herself, Bella liked being dominated. It made her feel…more important, more special.

And yet, sometimes, when he would just barely caress her cheek, hand travelling lower to her neck, she would absolutely melt. Bella closed her eyes, thinking of his touch. And yet, as the slowly cooling water began to drip off of her eyelids, Alice appeared in her mind. She pictured Alice touching her in the same feather soft manner. She remembered seeing her glow in the sunlight, holding her protectively in her arms. She remembered Alice lashing out at her, only to draw back and make it all better again. She was so considerate. And her love for Bella went to unfathomable depths. Oh, how she loved that little vampire.

Oh, how she loved Alice. Bella smiled to herself, but it was bittersweet. Alice wasn't ready to trust her yet. How could she blame her? Bella had done nothing but used her since she got here. And though she was trying to make it, being just friends wasn't as easy as it once was. Bella flipped her head back in a violent manner, listening as it slapped against her back. She had to do something. As soon as this shower was freezing, she was going to step out and tell Alice. She couldn't do it anymore. It hurt too much to just hug and not caress, to kiss the cheek and nothing more. And if Alice wasn't ready, that was more than fine, but they would have to change their interactions. Bella couldn't take this sexual frustration. It was more prevalent with Alice than it was with Edward…not that she minded all that much.

Suddenly, the shower curtain was ripped open. Bella let out a light scream and instinctively tried to cover herself. Alice was standing before her, gripping the curtain tightly. She looked almost feral, hunched over and glaring at Bella in a bizarre manner. She'd received the vision only mere seconds ago. She had to know if it was true.

Alice had been sitting on Bella's bed, listening to the pulse of the shower and waiting for her to finish. All the while she kept herself busy by racking her brain for any possible solution to her predicament. She'd worried that she'd scared Bella off with her frustration this morning. Honestly, Alice hadn't meant to be that rude. But so much was on her mind. She sighed, remembering her harsh words and the way Bella had tensed at them. Even the memory burned her to the core and she grimaced as she looked out the window. But Bella had pushed her. She didn't want to talk about Jasper. Bella was in the wrong to not have taken that hint. But Alice was in the wrong for letting it get to her. Bella didn't know; it wasn't her fault.

Alice closed her eyes, remembering the way they'd laid together for the next hour just talking peacefully. Everything had been so content. Alice never wanted to leave. And she wouldn't have. But Bella couldn't have stayed there forever like she could. She was human after all. Her human. She was the cause of every emotional spasm that Alice experienced. And Alice wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, maybe she'd change a few things. She wanted Bella more than a friend. But right now, that was out of the question. Alice shook her head as she heard the phone ring downstairs. Charlie answered after three rings. Then, possibly seven minutes later, he'd exited the house. Alice listened as his cruiser pulled out of the driveway and sped off towards the station.

Alice sniffed the air, smelling the bland fragrance of Bella's shampoo. It was nice, but it didn't help to sway Bella's natural scent. Alice knew that nothing could mask that. She also knew she'd never get used to the scent. Suddenly, she was hit with a vision.

Bella, clad only in a towel had come bursting through the door. As Alice rose from the bed to meet her, Bella gave her a somber grin. "Alice, I- I have to get something off of my chest," she muttered, sounding nervous. Alice merely stepped closer, waiting for her to continue. "I…love you, Alice. I really do. Believe me or not it's what I feel to be the truth. And you don't have to feel the same anymore or act any different for now. I just wanted you to know that."

And then, the vision was gone, nothing more. Alice let out an airy yell of frustration as she was brought out of it, leaning forward to slam her fists on the bed. Bella was still showering. Alice wasn't sure if she could wait until she finished before hearing the news. She could only hope that Bella wouldn't change her mind. Bella would probably never understand just how much and how long Alice had loved her. And it went so deep. Alice had never known such a thing until the human had come along. But now that she had, Alice wouldn't want it any other way.

A whole minute and a half passed by before Alice, who'd been searching for another vision, gave up. She groaned as she lay on her back on the bed, massaging her stressed temples. Her legs bounced madly against the comforter as she hummed a rapid fire song. When a whole two minutes had passed since the vision, she couldn't take it anymore. Desperation had taken over. Leaping from the bed, Alice bolted towards the bathroom, breaking the lock and springing back the shower curtain.

Now, as she faced Bella, she watched her slowly relax, though she didn't remove her hands from her private areas. Her breathing began to slow and she returned a glare, annoying at getting so worked up over Alice's intrusion. And though she tried her best to hide it, Bella was feeling just a bit apprehensive at Alice's actions. Before she could notice it, Alice straightened. Then she stepped into the shower, clothes and all, and backed Bella into the wall.

"Tell me you're serious. Tell me what I just saw wasn't a façade, that you're not going to change your mind," Alice breathed slowly, the condensation weighing her hair down and looking like sweat over her pale face. Bella's eyes darted back and forth between Alice's eyes and her soaking clothes. She didn't really understand what Alice was asking, so she stalled for a moment.

"Where's-where's Charlie?" she croaked, her voice disappearing into the steam. Alice shook her head, not annoyed, but as if she were in a hurry.

"He got called in. Tell me, Bella. Do you love me? Do you really love me? Were you going to tell me? Or was I too rash?" Alice's eyes widened as she backed up, staring wide-eyed and hopefully at Bella. Bella's mouth fell open as she tried to regain her breathing. Alice was making sense now. Bella closed her eyes, feeling the closeness of the vampire and her sweet breath on her cheek. Yes, it was true that Edward still lingered, but Alice was in the now.

"Yes," Bella began, opening her eyes, "I want you, Alice Cullen." Bella then watched as Alice's expression turned from shock, to relief to adoration. Grinning from ear to ear, Alice stepped forward and cupped Bella's cheeks in her hands, kissing her deeply and pulling the curtain closed again. Bella felt the knot in her stomach burst into nothing as she quickly kissed back, moaning into her throat. Alice's tongue found its way into Bella's and as they entwined, Alice moved her hands lower towards Bella's body.

Bella's body was so smooth and warm. It was such a sharp contrast to her cold skin that it actually made Alice jump. But that only turned her on even more. Bella moved one hand up to run it through Alice's short hair as the other hand worked at maneuvering the soaking jacket off of her shoulders. Alice groaned and pushed Bella harder against the tile. Alice's wet, rough clothes scraped against Bella's skin and Bella gasped as she rubbed against them, enjoying the feel. The jacket finally fell to the floor with a plop and Alice giggled as she reached around and grabbed Bella's ass, squeezing it. Bella began to gasp and tore away from Alice's mouth as she began to suck on her neck, her hands looping through the loops of Alice's jeans, pulling her closer and grinding her hips against her.

Alice closed her eyes at Bella's movements and brought one had up to her glistening breast. Bella groaned, biting lightly on Alice's granite shoulder as Alice squeezed harder, loving how slick the water had made everything. Bella then tore away from Alice's neck with an angry gasp. She grabbed the hem of Alice's shirt and ripped it over her head without warning. Alice moaned at the force and watched as Bella grinned and moved lower, taking one of her nipples in her mouth.

Alice's eyes widened as she let her head fall back into a moan, running her hands through Bella's hair. Bella continued for a moment before switching to the other breast, massaging the other with a free hand. Alice, in the mean time, was struggling to worm her way out of her pants. As soon as she'd removed them, she cast them onto the bathroom floor. There was another humorous sloshing sound and the girls giggled again as Alice brought Bella's head back up to kiss her again.

While kissing, Alice slid her hand down Bella's thighs before gripping her behind her knee cap. Then she lifted Bella's leg effortlessly and brought her foot to rest on the unoccupied soap dish that was glued to the tile. Bella grinned, knowing exactly what Alice was planning, and spread her legs further as she continued to caress every inch of Alice's now bare body. Alice placed a hand on Bella's cheek, slowing their movements for a moment. As they simply stared into each other's eyes, Alice moved her hand lower to rest on Bella's sex. She watched as Bella inhaled deeply, though didn't break eye contact as Alice simply played with the outer folds, massaging her clit affectionately. Bella brought her face closer and kissed Alice as sweetly as her lust could muster, feeding begging whimpers into the vampire's mouth.

Alice smiled as she returned the kiss before she finally went inside of Bella. A muffled gasp was heard as Bella tore away from Alice and let her head fall back, rocking slowly with Alice's rhythm. Alice continued the rhythm and began to kiss Bella's chest, moving lower until she had encircled Bella's nipple in her mouth. Bella, now without inhibition, groaned very loudly. It reverberated off of the bathroom walls and surrounded Alice in the most beautiful symphony as she began to move faster inside of Bella.

She felt a light tug on her hair, a signal from Bella. Alice raised her head, as requested, and watched as Bella gave her a lustful look before grasping the vampire's leg and raising it to rest on the wall of the tub opposite the soap dish. She kissed Alice's lower lip, biting on it softly as she entered Alice for the first time. Alice whimpered desperately and deepened the kiss, feeling Bella's lips starting to swell. Bella quickened her rhythm and felt Alice growl into her mouth. This turned Bella on immensely and she began to move more roughly, inserting a third finger. Alice did break the kiss this time, using her free hand to wrap herself tightly against Bella. She too, increased speed inside of Bella.

Very soon, Bella felt something welling up inside of her. She began to whimper in staccato with Alice's thrusts and forced her hips down onto the vampire's hand. Alice felt Bella's swelling urgency and pulled away to watch her lover writhe beneath her touch. In response to Bella's pleasure, Alice moved faster as well, hoping to revel right alongside her. A few moments later, Bella wrapped a free hand around Alice's head, pulling her closer as she bit down harder on her shoulder, muffling her scream. Bella's bite sent Alice over the edge and she closed her eyes as she felt herself coming, clawing Bella's back, though not enough to draw blood.

Bella's movements slowed after that, and eventually she pulled out of Alice. Alice did the same, noting the human's tired expression and pulling her into a tender embrace, kissing the top of her head. Bella smiled and kissed Alice's collarbone before motioning that they lay down. The water was beyond frigid now but neither of them noticed or cared. Alice allowed them to settle down in the tub, leaning against the back of it, letting the water brush over Bella's heated face. Alice kissed her again and squeezed her tightly.

"Bella, you're going to catch your death if we stay in here," she whispered into her hair. Bella smiled, shrugging as she nestled closer.

"I could care less right now."

"Well, I do care. After you've gained some strength, you're taking a nap."

"I don't wanna."

"I'll be beside you the whole time."

"Now that sounds a little better," Bella hummed as she opened her eyes. Alice smiled down at her and she returned it before groaning and forcing herself to sit up. "Fine, I'll take a nap. But only because it's cold in here." Alice nodded humorously at her request and shut off the water before helping Bella up and into her room.

Bella looked so beautiful while sleeping. Alice smiled to herself as she moved some damp hair away from the human's face. Her nose twitched in response and Alice stifled a laugh. She couldn't believe that she'd waited so long to be with Bella. She couldn't remember the last time she felt…happy. Perhaps the hole in her heart was finally starting to heal. Bella sighed in her sleep and Alice closed her eyes at the content sound.

"Something's not right. Alice should be back by now!"Edward scolded as she threw his hands in the air. Carlisle nodded reassuringly and held his hands up in surrender.

"I'm sure she's fine, Edward," he soothed, taking a step closer. "There are great shopping places in Paris. For all we know, she could have found an apartment." Edward shook his head and began to pace angrily, frowning as he contemplated. He paced for a few more moments before he stopped abruptly, slowly bringing his head up to face Carlisle.

"She's gone back to Bella, hasn't she, Carlisle?" he practically demanded. Carlisle sighed, choosing not to give an answer. His silence answered Edward's question.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Edward asked, hiding his rage, though not well.

"She didn't want you to know. She knew you wouldn't like it."

"Why did she go back?"

"She wouldn't tell us."

Edward growled, throwing his arms down angrily. "I'm going back. I have to know what's going on."

"Edward, I-

"Don't talk me out of it, Carlisle!" Edward shouted in a voice so powerful that it took Carlisle himself by surprise. Without another word, Edward stormed out the door.

Alice opened her eyes with an angry sigh. She knew this was too good to be true. She just didn't know things would change for the worst so quickly when they'd just gotten better. Bella stirred next to her, her arm reaching out. Alice grasped her hand, holding it firmly in her own, watching as Bella smiled and relaxed back into her pillow. The vampire sighed, looking out the window into the cloudy afternoon. Edward was coming back. He wouldn't be stopped. If he'd left around the same time as the vision, she only had a couple of hours. She secretly prayed that she was wrong. Bella hummed contently in her sleep, mumbling something incoherent. Alice began to stroke her wet hair as she tried her best to memorize Bella's features.

When Edward came back, there was no telling what kind of hell would ensue. And, Alice could bet, she would be caught right in the middle of it.


	9. Chapter 9

Return to Me

Bella stirred, her arms involuntarily shivering. They were freezing. However, she was more comfortable than she'd ever felt before. She clenched her closed eyes for a moment before opening them slowly, adjusting to the light that filtered in the room. Everything was a pale haze for a moment but as her eyes adjusted, Alice's face came into view. Bella smiled into her honey colored eyes and snuggled further into the icy arms that held her.

"Good morning," she sighed lazily. Alice smiled at her but Bella noticed that it didn't curve like it usually did this time. Something was amiss.

"Good morning, Bella. Sleep well?" Alice asked. Now her tone sounded too optimistic.

"Yes…is everything okay?"

"As far as I know," Alice replied coolly. She didn't want Bella to know. She wanted Bella to be in the dark just as much as she was so that the reactions would be real. There was still a chance that Bella still wanted Edward. And telling Bella that he was coming might affect her decision. However, Bella didn't seem too convinced at her answer.

"You're lying to me."

"No, I'm not."

"Alice…"

Alice sighed, closing her eyes briefly before she opened them again and leant forward to kiss Bella softly. Then she pulled away, removing her arms from Bella's sides. "I hate that I make you so cold. You're shivering."

Bella sighed and rolled her eyes. Relief washed over her as she realized the trivial matter that was disheartening her vampire. She reached for Alice's hands again and placed them on her cheeks. "I like the cold."

"Liar. You've always hated the cold," Alice answered, smirking.

"Well, I used to. But, now I've changed my mind." Bella took this opportunity to move Alice's hands lower, caressing the column of her neck before they skirted lower to her chest. "Plus," she added as she made Alice's hands brush against her nipples, instantly erecting them, "there's much faster reaction time."

Alice raised a brow at this adventurous little kitten that was no longer the shy Bella Swan she once knew. However, she didn't say she didn't like it. Alice smiled, closing her eyes again as Bella continued to toy with her hands. As she reveled in touching Bella's warm skin, she also searched for Edward. She found him easily, racing down a highway as fast as the car would take him. They still had about two hours before his arrival. And as much as Alice loved making Bella moan, she wanted more than physical contact in her last unperturbed time with her. Alice opened her eyes again and pulled her hands away. She laughed at Bella's pouting face and kissed her again before rising from the bed to put her clothes on.

"As intriguing as your intentions sound to me, I think we should pace ourselves. You're only human, after all. Put some clothes on and meet me downstairs. I'll have breakfast waiting." With that, she winked and headed downstairs, her smile fading with each step. Images of Edward's arrival would not stop coursing through her mind. Each vision added a weight to her heart and slowed the spring in her step. She'd acted too quickly again. And now she was going to reap what she had sown. Her eyes began to sting with tears that would not shed and a knot filled her petit stomach, making it hard to breathe. This feeling was all too familiar. To feel this three times in the course of a month would surely be the death of her, even if she was immortal.

However, as she stepped into the kitchen, listening to her bare feet smack the tile, a hint of optimism crept into her thoughts. Maybe Bella was being sincere. Maybe she really did love her with all of her heart and Edward was a distant, annoying memory. Perhaps Alice didn't have enough faith in the human. Or perhaps she was completely right. Alice shook her head, searching to see if she could see Bella's decision. Of course, Bella hadn't made a decision so it was a waste of time. Alice growled, opening the refrigerator a little too roughly and pulling out two eggs. The cold air from the fridge hit her, pleasantly coating her in the strange scents of all of the products it held. Alice stared at the two eggs in her hand. They were so fragile. Almost unconsciously, she gripped them tightly in her hand, listening to them crack in her palm and seep onto the floor with unappetizing sounds.

"Um…Alice?" a faint voice came from behind her. Alice turned slowly, facing a fully dressed Bella, brow furrowed in confusion. "Are…you okay?" Alice cocked her head to the side, unsure of what Bella was talking about. In response, Bella gestured to the floor. Orange-ish balls were floating side by side in a heap of something that looked like vegetable oil.

"Oh…" Alice started as she grabbed a towel and bent down to clean up the eggs, "I…just wanted to squeeze an egg. Plus, I just remembered that I can't cook, so this whole thing was kind of a lost cause." Even though her head was buried, Alice still heard Bella's chuckle ring through her ears and she grinned at the eggy goo. Footsteps were heard on the tile and in a few moments Bella was crouched before. She placed her hand over Alice's, stopping her from wiping and gave her a coy smile.

"You really are too cute for words sometimes. You know that?" she whispered, staring deeply into her eyes. Alice felt the knot in her stomach loosen as Alice brought her free hand up to grab Bella's head and pull her closer. They kissed slowly and sweetly for a few moments. Alice closed her eyes, remembering every scent in this moment. She memorized the softness of Bella's lips, the taste of her tongue, the sound of her breathing, the sight of Bella in bliss, and the never-failing smell. And as they kissed, Alice pulled her closer into an embrace. She never wanted to let go. But things just weren't going her way lately, so reluctantly, she did. When they pulled away, Alice cupped Bella's cheeks in her hands, watching the human's still closed eyes and seeing the small grin crease her lips.

"Bella, you know I love you, right? So much more than you can fathom," Alice murmured, her thumb stroking Bella softly.

"Mhm," Bella responded, opening her eyes lazily just as she had done earlier this morning. "I do know that, Alice. Do you know that I love you? With just as much vigor as you feel for me?" Alice breathed a sigh of relief and embraced her again, not caring that she'd placed her knee in the eggy goo and it was seeping through her pants.

"I'm so happy," she whispered into the crook of Bella's neck.

"Good," Bella answered, rubbing her back, "you deserve to be."

Rain had started to fall and it now pattered lightly against the windows in the kitchen. Bella slowly pulled away from Alice and shrugged. "You know, I'm not all that hungry. Let's not worry about breakfast, okay?" Alice grinned at her and nodded, helping Bella to stand. If only Alice could worry about something as trivial as breakfast. Nevertheless, she stood with Bella and threw the rag away. Bella looked around and shrugged again. "What now?"

"Hm…" Alice began, "how about a movie or something?" Nothing seemed more appropriate that to simply cuddle with Bella for a few hours. Bella nodded and headed out of the kitchen with Alice following close behind.

"You can pick," Bella mentioned as she gestured towards the video cabinet. Alice squealed and darted over, quickly scanning through the titles. Nestled far in the back, Alice came across one of her favorites.

"I love this one!" she shouted, holding the video above her head. Bella eyed the title and nodded, getting up to pop it into the DVD player. No one doesn't like romantic comedies…not even Charlie. As Bella started the DVD, Alice grabbed a blanket and draped it over herself on the couch, waiting for Bella. Then she opened the blanket for her and they tucked each other in as tightly as possible. Bella rested her head against the vampire's shoulder and Alice rested her head on hers. Their hands found each other under the blanket and were soon entwined.

As the move progressed, Alice made sure to watch Bella's every move from the corner of her eye. She loved watching her laugh, hearing it ring through her ears. And in the sad scenes, she even shed a few tears which Alice was quick to wipe away. It was beautiful, watching every side of Bella and being there for her during each one of them.

When the movie ended, Bella sighed happily and leaned up to kiss Alice once more. This one also lingered and Bella hummed softly into Alice mouth before she pulled away, running a hand through her hair. "It's been a good day so far," she mentioned as she closed her eyes.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," Alice returned wholeheartedly. She couldn't deny that she felt the same as well. And then, the screeching of tires was heard coming down the road. Alice sighed, closing her eyes as the sound neared. The car roared to a stop in front of Bella's house and Bella opened her eyes to peer out the window.

"Who is it?" she asked as she didn't recognize the car. Alice rose from the couch and started to fold the blanket. She refused to meet Bella's eyes.

"Edward,"

"Edward?"

"Edward,"

Before Bella could respond, the door burst open. And in he came. Edward, in the immortal flesh. Alice closed her eyes upon hearing Bella's gasp. All was quiet for a few moments as everyone stood in their own form of shock. Bella could not believe that Edward was standing before her. Edward could not believe that Alice was here and incapable of finding a coherent thought from her. Alice knew that Edward was coming; she had just prayed that it was false. And now that he was here, she was trying desperately to scramble her thoughts so that Edward didn't murder her on the spot.

"Edward!" a shocked cry broke the silence, causing both of the vampires to jolt and growl. However, before either could dwell on it for too long, Bella lunged herself at Edward, clinging to him as she'd done the first time Alice came back. "Edward, I can't believe you're…Edward!" she continued to cry against his granite chest. Edward embraced her tightly, though his eyes never left Alice's. Alice, however, wasn't even aware of his presence anymore. She was too busy watching how Bella clutched at him with such desire, such love. Slowly, she lifted her head and kissed his jaw tenderly. Alice watched as Edward's eyes closed at her touch and his arms tightened around her. She couldn't take it anymore. In a flash of movement, she was gone, bolting out the back door.

Bella hadn't noticed. She was still too absorbed in her Edward. However, before she could really revel in his return, he shook her hands off of him. "Excuse me, Love," he said quickly before heading out the back door. Bella watched him go, stunned that he was already out of her grasp. And where was Alice? Suddenly, she felt light-headed and had to sit on the couch. Too much had just happened for her to comprehend in one sitting.

This was why Alice had been so strange. She knew he was coming. So why didn't she tell her? And what was with the tension between her and Edward? Bella knew she'd heard them growl when she'd first broke the silence. And now Edward was back. Bella closed her eyes upon remembering his touch. It was so hard, protective. The way he'd held her in his harms, his marble skin brushing roughly against her lips. It was all so familiar. And yet…not what she was currently used to. And now, both of them were gone. Bella leaned against the couch and threw her head back. "Shit," was the only word that seemed appropriate for the current situation.

0-0-0-0-0

Alice was deep within the woods now. She just hoped that she'd gotten a big enough start. Of course, Edward was the fastest of them all. Gritting her teeth, Alice ran faster, narrowly dodging assorted vegetation. As she made a right turn around a large tree, she was hit hard with his scent. He was gaining. And she couldn't run any faster. Exhaling sharply, she slowed to a stop. Before she could take another two breaths, Edward's footsteps were heard slowing directly behind her. Keeping firm control of her thoughts, Alice turned and faced her brother.

"Hello, Edward," she said as calmly as she could muster. She was going to face this like she did with the werewolf. If civility failed, she would fight.

"What are you doing here?" Edward growled, ignoring the greeting. He was breathing heavily. Alice could sense the rage within him and his frustration at not being able to read her. His slight disability gave her some confidence and she relaxed her posture a bit.

"Bella needed me."

"Oh she did, did she?"

"Yes,"

"What did she need you for? I told you never to see her again."

"Well, I'm not really under any obligation to listen to what you say. And she hurt herself."

Edward's eyes softened just a bit around the edges. He, too, relaxed his posture. "How did she hurt herself?"

"Did you not see it when she jumped up? You didn't even smell it?" Alice asked, slightly shocked. Although Bella's legs were improving, the scabs still smelled potently of her blood. But Alice had long since gotten used to it. She would have thought that the scent would have hit Edward as soon as he burst through the door. He growled at her cryptic words and took a step closer.

"See what, Alice? Tell me, dammit!"

"Calm down, Edward. I won't talk to you like this," Alice chided, her voice unfailing. She wasn't Bella. She wouldn't be treated like his minion. Edward snarled and turned around, running his hands violently through his hair. When he faced Alice again, his expression was much calmer, though the rigidity of his muscles was still very evident. Alice sighed after looking him over, and then averted her eyes, staring off towards the trees.

"She thought she'd try out cliff diving. She almost drowned and severely cut her legs." Alice refrained from the truth of Bella's legs for her own protection. If Edward knew of her self-damaging ways who knows how Bella would be punished for it.

Edward gave a sort of grunt and folded his arms across his chest. "And that was a good enough reason to come back?"

"Of course!" Alice shouted, infuriated. "Are you that heartless, Edward?"

"Alice, we swore we would never return to Bella. We swore on a family oath! Does that mean nothing to you?"

"If you'll recall, Edward, I never swore."

"All you've done is put her in danger again."

"On the contrary, I'm protecting her from it. I didn't just leave her here to wither away with a broken heart," she narrowed her eyes at him, loving the way her words caused him so much regret. Good, he deserved to feel some of the guilt for all of his doings. Edward growled, balling his fists and taking a step towards her. Alice remained firm. If he decided to attack, she would see it.

"Don't talk about what you don't understand," he growled, his anger growing. Alice growled in response. He couldn't keep commanding everyone like this.

"Do not…tell me what to do," she said slowly, her eyes narrowing, "I'm not Bella,"

Suddenly, she was being thrown against a tree. The vision hit her too late, but she was ready for the next attack. As she sprung to her feet again, she saw that he wasn't charging her. Instead, he was watching her with a sort of amused expression. She kept her face stolid, refusing to allow him to see her anger, and made her way back over. When she was close enough, Edward chuckled.

"And I am not Jasper."

An involuntary growl filled her throat, only causing Edward's grin to grow. The knot in Alice's chest resumed as she tried her best to ignore it. "Jasper doesn't concern this."

"Oh, I believe he does. He has everything to do with why you're back here."

"Well why are you back, Edward? What does it matter if I came back down here? You certainly didn't have to."

"Because I had to protect her. With you coming back, means that she's in danger again from Victoria."

"And you don't think I can protect her myself?"

"I'm sure you're fully capable of doing that, Alice. But why should you? I love her. I should be the one protecting her."

His words stung Alice deeply as memories of her time with Bella came flooding back to her. But before she could reel them in, Edward growled, plowing her against another tree and holding her to it. Alice didn't try to fight. He wouldn't kill her…yet.

"You did what to her?" he shouted, utterly enraged. She turned away from his expression. He had no right to be delving into her thoughts. When she told him of this he only pushed her harder. The tree started to whine in protest and Alice could feel the wood cracking. "How dare you do that to my Bella? She's mine!" That did it. Before Edward could register what was happening, Alice drove her foot into his chest, sending him careening backwards. She landed on him before he could get up and snarled at him.

"She is not yours! She never was! If she was anything to you, you gave that up when you left her."

"As did you," Edward replied calmly, straining slightly under me.

"I came back,"

"As I did,"

"You only came to bring me back."

"And did you do that with Jasper?" Edward grimaced as Alice slapped him across the face. She could have hurt him worse, but she just didn't have the heart to anymore. The slap seemed to have been enough, however, for when Edward opened his eyes and looked at her again, there was sorrow in them. "I'm…sorry, Alice. That was…out of line," he said slowly, looking away. Alice climbed off of him and offered her hand to him. He took it and as he stood he looked down at her and sighed.

"Alice, I love Bella. I don't know what you have with her but I know that our love is deep. You've still got a lot of stuff to work out with Jasper."

"No, I don't," she replied sadly, looking up towards the sky. Edward sighed again.

"Then you need to work out some stuff with yourself. In the meantime, I'll stay with Bella."

Alice contemplated this for a moment. Was he right? Was she simply mistaken in what she felt for Bella? Did she still need to work things out with Jasper? Alice didn't know anymore. The mentioning of Jasper had distorted her thoughts too much. She closed her eyes and a vision hit her. Edward burst through the door. Bella jumped up and into his arms. Alice herself was nowhere to be found in the vision. Alice opened her eyes again. The decision was still hers. She remembered Bella's jovial expression in the vision and licked her lips before turning to Edward again.

"I am coming back. Take care of Bella, please."

"You know I will,"

"No, I don't,"

Before Edward could respond, Alice raced deeper into the woods.


	10. Chapter 10

Edward

Bella leaned forward on the couch, resting her elbows on her knees and holding her head in her hands. Edward and Alice had been gone for awhile. She was starting to worry that only one of them would return. She remembered Alice's rage just at the mentioning of Edward's name. She also remembered the strange glare that he'd given Alice when he walked through the door. If tensions weren't high enough, Bella had to go be a moron and hug him hysterically. It's not that she regretted the hug though. Rather, she just wished she'd done it differently. Her melodramatics were always impressive but hardly ever necessary. She knew that she'd probably hurt Alice greatly. However, not hugging Edward would have hurt him. Who should she worry about more? Bella sighed, gripping at her skull with her nails. She didn't know. She honestly didn't know.

A flash of motion darted across the room and Bella's head shot up. However, that was all that she could do before Edward collapsed next to her on the couch and held her tightly against his chest. Bella froze for a moment before finally gaining enough thought to put her arms around him, pulling him closer. He smelled so…spicy. Something like cinnamon or gingerbread. It almost stung her nose since it was so used to the simple but breathtaking scent of Alice. Edward did smell very good though and she smiled warily as she looked up at him.

"Where's Alice?"

Edward frowned, a low growl rumbling in his chest. Bella tried to pull away from his grasp. His intensity was frightening. However his arms held her firmly against him. If he didn't so something soon, she was going to start panicking. Luckily, Edward exhaled sharply through his nose and turned away. "Alice…went away for a little while."

"Went away? As in, she's gone?"

"Yes,"

"Why?"

"Because she still needs to figure out some things."

"With Jasper?"

"Yes,"

Bella took the hint of Edward's tone and pushed the Jasper subject no further. However the fact that Alice had just left, vanished without so much as a goodbye was almost heartbreaking to her. "Will she come back, Edward?"

"She said she would. I wouldn't worry about it too much though."

"How can I not worry about it? Alice is gone!" Bella shouted, becoming frustrated. Edward scoffed as Bella tried to free herself from his arms. Suddenly, he released her, only to grab her by the shoulders and shake her vigorously.

"And I'm here, Bella! Why are you worried so much about her after all she's done to you?" he shouted, his voice harsh and intimidating. Bella shivered in his grasp, tears automatically coming into her eyes. She tried to focus on Edward's topaz colored irises. That's what she did when he acted like this. She would lose herself in those beautiful pools until he calmed down. However, the relief wasn't coming this time and she was still very much frightened. Edward then sighed, kissed her temple, and released her slowly, allowing her to sit back on the couch. When she was away from his grasp, Bella allowed herself to collect her thoughts. She remembered what Edward had said, but it didn't seem to make sense. After a few moments of collecting her breath, Bella made eye contact with Edward again.

"What do you mean? What has she done to me?" Edward looked at her incredulously and frowned in disappointment.

"She came home. She wasn't supposed to, but she did and thus ruined whatever chance you had at a normal life."

"N-normal life?" Bella couldn't seem to comprehend what was coming out of Edward's mouth. It had to make sense, it just had to. Edward gave that familiar crooked smile and pulled her closer to him, nuzzling in her fair hair.

"Bella, you are so beautiful and kind. You have so much to give to the world. The last thing you need to be doing is hanging around with those that don't deserve you," he murmured, inhaling deeply. Bella pulled her head away so that she could look him properly in the eyes.

"So…you're saying that you're not good enough for me? None of the Cullens are good enough for me?"

Edward's brow creased again and he sighed roughly as he leaned back against the couch. Slowly, he reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. "I'm not good enough for you. Alice is not good enough for you. Why waste your time withering away with us when we cannot even touch with as much love as we'd like? Why would you choose to live forever in a life with love, but nothing but words to show for it? I love you, Bella. But I cannot control myself around you. It's too dangerous. You're better off being happy with someone who can give you everything rather than fools who can't give you enough."

"But what if that fool loves me?"

"It doesn't matter, Bella."

"What if I love that fool?"

A loud crack echoed throughout the room as Edward clenched his teeth tightly shut. He balled his fists and brought them together for a moment before slowly exhaling and pulling his hands away. "You don't love them, Bella. You don't love her. Alice took advantage of your weakened state and hers by coming over here and making a mockery of your heart. I don't want to hurt you, love, but she doesn't love you. She loves the idea of you. She is still very much in love with Jasper." Edward smiled painfully and pulled Bella into another tight embrace. It was too tight, but Bella hardly noticed.

Her mind was a swirling torrent of thoughts and emotions. Edward could very well be right. Alice always tensed up when Jasper's name was mentioned and she never did get the reason as to why he didn't come along with her to the trip. Maybe Alice did use Bella. Maybe she was just the rebound girl…. Tears began to slide down her cheeks as she absorbed herself in Edward's arms, clutching onto the only thing she knew was real: his presence. Edward hummed softly, kissing the top of her head, and rocked her back and forth.

They rocked for a few more minutes until Bella had calmed down. Then Edward pulled away from her, a small smile on his lips. "Will a kiss make you feel better?" he teased. Bella laughed, wiping away the remaining tears from her eyes, and nodded. Edward shrugged innocently and leaned forward. Just as he placed his lips on hers, his hand rested gently on her thigh. However, the friction caused her shorts to grind against the healing wounds on her legs and she hissed as she roughly pulled away from her. Edward glared at her for a moment, confused, before he noticed his hand placement. Slowly, he pulled his hand away, staring at it as if it had committed a crime. Bella watched his expression change from anger to frustration to sadness and back to anger all over again, repeating the cycle.

"Alice mentioned your fall," he said distantly, still looking at his hand. "Now, I can't say I'm surprised, but she informed me that your injuries were pretty severe." He reached his hand back out towards her shorts, stopping just before he reached them. "May I?" he inquired, motioning towards the fabric. Bella nodded, biting her lower lip, and closed her eyes as she felt his frigid hand on her bare skin.

Like Alice's, Edward's cool touch eased the fiery pain of her healing wounds. Carefully, he grasped the fabric and pulled it away from him, exposing Bella's thigh. This time, as he stared upon the vibrant red streaks, a growl formed in his throat. Bella's eyes widened as she sat up a little, the growl putting her further on the edge. Slowly, Edward placed his palm on her thigh, sliding it lower until it rested on her knee. Though the touch was gentle, Bella still winced at his touch. However, she tried not to pay too much attention to the pain. She was far more concerned with what Edward was thinking. Right now, his expression was unreadable. The crease of his brow showed immense rage. However the slight trembling of his lower lip suggested that he was deeply hurt. Bella was starting to get a little tired of all of these mixed signals and she quickly covered up her legs. As soon as she did, she started to wish she hadn't.

Edward removed his hand with a jerk, snarling as he glared at his palm. Bella gasped at his sudden burst and his eyes found her quickly. He was taking slow, even breaths. It made him even more menacing. Bella swallowed but did nothing else. She was almost afraid. Edward looked to be on edge and she certainly didn't want to send him over. Then, Edward's eyes softened, and the rage was gone. The hurt was still very evident to her though.

"Those…are slashes," he said slowly, eyeing her legs again. "Cliff diving can't make these kinds of cuts." His eyes flashed over to Bella again and she blinked, trying to cover her legs further. Alice must have lied about her cuts. And now as she sat before him, she could understand why. "What happened?" Edward murmured, his eyes never leaving her legs.

I…fell," Bella answered. Her cheeks flushed when her voice cracked and she knew that he would see right through her lie. Edward smirked, shaking his head as a light chuckle rumbled through him.

"What happened, Bella?"

Bella considered the question for a moment. She used to be able to read the vampire like a book. Now, she barely knew who he was anymore. She'd been silent for too long and he straightened, urging her on. Bella coughed and looked away. "I fell…onto glass."

"Intentionally?"

"Why would you think that?"

Edward shrugged, looking away as well. "You were so fragile when I left you, Bella. You're still fragile. It just doesn't seem like shocking idea." Heat flooded to Bella's cheeks as she felt tears in her eyes. She'd never felt so worthless before. Had Edward always been like this? Edward made a strange noise then, causing Bella to turn. When she faced him, she realized that he'd moved closer. She gasped at his proximity and his expression softened. Silently, he lifted a hand up and placed it on the side of her face, caressing it sweetly and slowly. "This is because of me, isn't it? It's all my fault." He hung his head and sighed heavily. "I don't deserve to be in your presence."

"Huh?" came Bella's lame reply. Since when did the conversation switch to him?

"I'm a monster, Bella. I ruin everything." He motioned to her legs again. "I should never have come back."

"No, don't say that, Edward," Bella chided, reaching out to him. It was strange. It was almost instinctual to reach out and console this pitiful creature. He was hurting so much. Edward cringed under her touch, reaching up to take her hand in his.

"No, please don't touch me. I can't do this again. I can't…get attached."

"Why not?"

"Because, it's not safe for you. I don't want you to get hurt. And that's what would happen should I choose to stay. I've overstayed my welcome already." He stared intensely at her, though neglected to move from the couch. Bella nodded sadly as tears began to fill the crevices of her eyes. Edward's expression softened for just a moment before his eyes became hard again. Too quickly for Bella to resist, he reached out and grasped her hand again, pulling it closer to him and squeezing it within his own. "But, before I go, Bella, I want you to promise me something."

Bella nodded blankly, sniffing just a bit. Her thoughts were contorted, jumbled. It was a struggle just to remember how to breathe. Poor Edward, so caring, so compassionate for her and her alone. She closed her eyes, remembering his previous departure. How much it had hurt. This time was no different. Edward sighed, then clenched her hand again.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Bella felt anger growing inside of her and she was quick to pull her hand away from his, disgusted. Edward looked up at her, a confused expression crossing his face. "Don't tell me what to do," she said softly but with fervor. Edward gave a small glare.

"What did you say?" he asked incredulously.

"I said, 'Don't tell me what to do.' I'm not yours anymore, right? We shouldn't be together, right? You don't want me, right? So why the hell should I listen to one more command you give me!" she shouted, violently standing from the couch.

"Bella, what's the matter with you?" Edward half growled in return. "I'm trying to help you!"

"No, you're trying to help yourself!" Bella screamed, completely livid. Alice was so right…so damn right. How could she have been so stupid, so blinded? Well, she had been for a few years and again so just a few minutes ago. She was just as pathetic as Edward gave her credit for. But not anymore. She sighed, trying to compose herself as Edward rose from the couch, looming over her with a daring glare. However, as quickly as it'd come, the glare vanished.

"What's the matter, love?" he asked, his voice soft and tender like it was before. Bella shook her head, smiling at the fact that she was undaunted by his smooth voice.

"I'm not your love. I'm not yours. I'm Alice's love. I'm Alice's."

"Come again?" The frightening look was back again. Bella became slightly fearful but refused to show it.

"Edward, I don't know of your real intentions. But I do know that you are manipulative, abusive, and possibly sadistic. I was a fool to fall for it before. And I was a fool to let Alice walk out the door too many times. Please, Edward, leave." Bella closed her eyes, feeling the tight emptiness leave her being. She felt lighter, yet more complete. She felt happy, unrestricted, uninhibited.

However, the feeling was short lived as she felt her head smack roughly against the plaster of the wall. Black eyes poured into her as the growl within Edward's chest was reverberated through her own.

"I'm not going anywhere."


	11. Chapter 11

Alice

Alice muttered incoherently to herself as her car sped furiously around a curve. Four times already she'd pulled over and considered going back. And four times, she continued on. The faster that she spoke to Jasper, the faster she could back to Bella. Her Bella, hopefully. Her eyes burned with rage and fear as she tried desperately to keep the car under control. 150 miles per hour down winding curves probably wasn't the best idea, but she didn't care. Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, listening to the leather underneath her palms squeal with friction. A sign for the Alaska state line came into view and she sighed as she slowed down at a relatively short borderline. She closed her eyes for a moment, and saw that she would pass through with ease. Her vision was correct and as soon as she was out of sight from the border patrol, she increased speed again and headed directly to Denali.

As she drove, she kept listening to repeated conversations in her head. Most of them were from Bella. And most of them were happy. She smiled, remembered the way Bella's eyes lit up when she held her, the lone dimple on the right side of her cheek, the one canine tooth that was just barely crooked. It was all so beautifully Bella. And then another voice came into her head. It was rough, demanding, and it made her heart ache with rage.

"I love her. I should be the one protecting her…. You need to work out some stuff with yourself. In the meantime, I'll stay with Bella."

"Asshole," Alice murmured under her breath as the tires screeched against the road. She still didn't know if he was right or wrong. He was so good at manipulation. He was so good at getting his way. And now Alice was wondering if she hadn't just fallen into another one of his traps. Again, she pulled over to the side of the road. What if he just said those things to get her away from Bella? What would he do to Bella? Terrible thoughts quickly filled her mind but Alice shook them away. Edward loved Bella. He would not harm her. He just wouldn't. But what if he did?

Alice began to gnaw on her lower lip, glancing around at the white landscape of Alaska. She was just a few miles outside of Denali. She couldn't leave now. Vowing not to stop again until she'd reached her destination Alice put the car back in drive and pulled back out onto the road. The rest of the drive was uneventful as Alice pulled up into the driveway of the Denali clan. She'd just barely applied the brakes when she saw the door open and two very familiar vampires stepped outside.

"Esme," Alice breathed as she raced out and hugged her mother. She felt Esme's arms wrap warmly around her and sway her. Carlisle placed a hand on her head and she looked up and smiled at him before pulling away.

"How are you?" Esme asked kindly. However it was evident to everyone that she was asking much more than that.

"I'm still not sure," Alice answered, looking up into the house. "Is…Jasper here?" She watched as Esme's eyes widened a bit while Carlisle adjusted his posture. Alice looked back and forth between the two of them, begging for either of them to say something. Finally, Carlisle gave a heavy sigh and a kind smile.

"Jasper…wishes to be alone."

"But he is here?"

Carlisle gave a single nod and Alice watched as Esme folded her hands across her waist. Alice sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I want to respect his wishes, but I can't. I need to speak to him. It's very important." Neither of her parents chose to answer and she grabbed Esme's clasped hands, holding them to her heart.

"Esme, please, I don't have much time. Edward's back with Bella and he can't be trusted." They both looked up at this, worried expressions evident on their face.

"What do you mean he can't be trusted?" Carlisle asked in his doctoral tone. Esme nodded urgently beside him and Alice shook her head.

"Please, just tell me where Jasper is."

Carlisle and Esme looked back and forth between each other before Esme finally let her shoulders fall, embracing her daughter again. "He's up north a few miles hunting. Please be careful."

"And I'd like an explanation when you get the chance," Carlisle finished, patting her back. Alice nodded against her mother's cheek and pulled away, thanking them both before sprinting north into the woods. As soon as she passed the house, she caught onto Jasper's scent and quickened pace. Jasper may be hurting, but he would understand the situation. He understood everything. Alice felt her eyes stinging with unshed tears as she violently rubbed her eyes. What good was crying if you had no tears to show for it? She'd only been running for a few minutes when he scent became potent to her. She stopped running and closed her eyes. If he was hunting as Esme said, he would be in a feral mood and she didn't want to be caught in the middle of it. Especially since she wasn't exactly the person he was dying to see.

There was movement to her far right and instinctively Alice jerked her head towards it. He was over there somewhere. "Jasper?" she called out just a bit loudly, pulling her jacket tightly around her. More movement was heard and Jasper slowly came into view. It took everything Alice had to keep from sobbing as she laid eyes on him.

His hair was unusually disheveled, even for him and the shirt he was wearing was terribly wrinkled as if he'd slept in it. His eyes were an onyx black and he seemed to shake on the spot as if he were afraid of something. Jasper's eyes widened as he focused on her. She looked so beautiful, so…unharmed. In spite of himself, it pained him to see her looking so good. He would have been happy just to see her shoe untied. But she looked as perfect as ever. Then he reached her eyes. He noticed the utter, dying desperation in them and the fact that she'd been crying. She was hurt…terribly. And it didn't make him feel any better as he thought it would. Cautiously, he took a step towards her, careful not to make the wrong move. Alice seemed to wake up from her daze as he approached her. Then she followed his movements. Each took slow steps until they were just a few feet away from each other. It was eerily silent in the foliage of the woods. The wind whipped madly around Jasper's hair and Alice was hit strongly with his scent. Even if he looked unkempt, he still smelled gloriously. Finally, when she realized that he wouldn't take the first move, she sighed.

"Hello, Jasper," she said slowly, enunciating each word.

"Hello," Jasper answered just as slowly, the wild look in his eyes dissipating as he heard her bell-like voice.

"It's…I…how are you?" Alice played nervously with her hands. Visions weren't coming to her and she felt naked in front of him. He shook his head sadly and tried to fix his hair as he looked just over her head.

"Are you really asking me or are you just being polite?"

"I'm really asking."

"I've been better…Alice." Just saying her name was almost too hard for him. Not to mention looking into those pained eyes and knowing he was the cause. He heard her give a staccato sigh and knew that she was crying again. Now he definitely couldn't look at her. Not if he wanted to stay standing.

"Jasper…" Alice spoke softly, afraid of her own words, "why…why did you…?" She couldn't finish the question. It was too hard to try and speak to him while they were both in so much pain. The guilt within Alice was overwhelming. It was taking all of her strength not to double over in pain. The leaves rustled beneath Jasper's feet as he stepped closer to her, using his finger to gently push her head up. Her eyes met his and Jasper watched as her lower lip trembled with another cry. Without hesitation, he pulled her tightly to his chest, kissing the top of her head as she clung to him and sobbed. When she'd calmed down enough to hear him, he whispered softly into her ear.

"It's what you want."

Alice pulled away, looking up at him. She was so beautiful. He longed to look away, but he didn't have the strength. Alice sniffed one last time and shook her head. "But it's not what you want."

"Yes it is. All that I want is for you to be happy, Alice."

"But…you look so terrible." Jasper chuckled at her words and cupped her cheeks in his hands.

"Thanks for pointing that out." Alice smiled softly and he felt the hole in his heart mend just a bit.

"But, Jasper…you look so sad."

"I am sad, Alice. I'm sad that I'm not the one making you happy. But Bella does. And I'm willing to step out of the way for the both of you."

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I did love you. Please know that."

"I know. I've always known. You still love me, just…not like you did." He hung his head as Alice nodded sadly.

"I'm so, so sorry, Jasper," she repeated, her lovely voice cracking and echoing around them.

"Don't be sorry, Alice. You're in love. It's not your fault. It's not my fault. I know that now. I just still need some time to figure out what I'm going to do."

Alice smiled again, resting her head against his chest as he held her once more. "You're too good for me anyway," Alice whispered, smiling as his chest rumbled against her in a chuckle.

"If only I were a woman, right?"

Alice looked up at him and put her hands around his neck. Standing up on her toes, she leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek. She felt him sigh at her touch and pulled away slowly. "What are you planning to do?" she asked him as they sat down on the ground. Jasper shrugged, crumpling a leaf in his palm.

"I'm not sure, yet. I'm thinking about leaving for awhile, seeing the world… or, more of it anyway. What about you, Alice? What's wrong? Why did you come back?" His eyes were hard and his tone was firm. Alice could tell that he was worried and she blinked a few times to ease the pain in her eyes.

"Edward came back. He…came back to Bella and he's with her now. He said I needed to figure things out with you before I could come back."

"Why did you listen to him?"

Alice thought for a moment, her heart sinking with every realization that hit her. She had fallen for it. She'd fallen for Edward's manipulations and right into his trap. She closed her eyes angrily as the first vision in a quite awhile hit her.

"What's the matter, love?" he asked, his voice soft and tender like it was before. Bella shook her head, smiling at the fact that she was undaunted by his smooth voice.

"I'm not your love. I'm not yours. I'm Alice's love. I'm Alice's."

"Come again?" The frightening look was back again. Bella became slightly fearful but refused to show it.

"Edward, I don't know of your real intentions. But I do know that you are manipulative, abusive, and possibly sadistic. I was a fool to fall for it before. And I was a fool to let Alice walk out the door too many times. Please, Edward, leave." Bella closed her eyes, feeling the tight emptiness leave her being. She felt lighter, yet more complete. She felt happy, unrestricted, uninhibited.

However, the feeling was short lived as she felt her head smack roughly against the plaster of the wall. Black eyes poured into her as the growl within Edward's chest was reverberated through her own.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Bella whimpered beneath his grasp.

Alice growled violently as she snapped out of the vision. Jasper jumped to his feet, ready for anything at the sound of her growl. His eyes were fierce and ready for battle as he looked around. "What did you see, Alice?" Alice jumped up and started to race back to the house. Jasper was right behind her as she reached her car. "What, Alice?" he shouted urgently as she reached the car door.

"Edward," was her simple reply as she slid into the car and sped off as fast as it would go down the street. Everything was flying past her in a blur. She thought she heard sirens but knew she wouldn't be caught. God help whoever tried to deter her from her Bella. She'd been too late before. And as she flew down the road at record speed, trying desperately to wipe the pain from her eyes, she vowed that she would never be too late again. She only prayed that her vision had come soon enough.


	12. Chapter 12

Bella

155 miles per hour just wasn't fast enough. But going any more than that would stall the engine. Alice hissed under her breath and applied just a bit more pressure. The car jolted forward to 160 without dying and she smiled just a bit to herself. Things seemed to be going her way. That was a good sign, right? The vision of Bella played repeatedly in her head. It haunted her and twice she'd almost crashed because of it. The first almost crash was because she'd gotten too upset to pay attention to the road and nearly careened into an oncoming truck. The second almost crash was when she nearly drove the car into the ditch as the realization of the vision hit her.

"I'm not your love. I'm Alice's love. I'm not yours. I'm Alice's."

"Oh, god," Alice murmured as a small smile graced her lips. If that vision had come true, which Alice was almost certain it had, then that meant Bella had turned down Edward. Bella had turned down Edward for her, Alice. The car started to rumble loudly as Alice was notified that she was driving off of the road. She quickly straightened and tried to focus. But she just couldn't. She could almost feel her dead heart beating rapidly inside of her chest with excitement. Her lips tingled with anticipation and her hands were shaking a bit against the steering wheel.

Bella had chosen her.

Bella loved her.

And now Bella was hers.

Just as much as she belonged to Bella.

Alice's eyes began to sting for an entirely different reason as she smiled again and maneuvered a sharp turn while still maintaining speed. She definitely wouldn't give up on her now. It finally seemed like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Alice wiped her eyes out of habit again and shook her head softly. As she did, she was hit with another vision. Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were all piled in his jeep, furiously racing down the road. Just behind them were Carlisle and Esme. Everyone looked terribly worried and angry. Alice opened her eyes and sighed. They were probably an hour or so behind her. They would most likely be late for whatever happened. And there was a good possibility that she would be too.

Alice swallowed roughly as the guild flooded back into her stomach. She should have never let Bella fall for Edward. She never should have left her on Edward's rash decision. She should have come back much sooner. She should have spoken to Jasper rather than letting him just walk out the door. So much more that she could have done. Her lip began to quiver and she bit down sharply on it. There was no time for tears. Bella needed her. And Edward needed to be taught a lesson.

When she'd first come into the Cullen's lives, she'd noticed something was different about him. His eyes weren't as kind as Carlisle's and his smile was open like Esme's. Sure, he was nice enough, but Alice never truly fell for it. It's not like she was expecting to be immediately loved by him, but she was hoping for an attempt to be accepted. She'd received it almost instantly from Carlisle and Esme and even after awhile, Rosalie. But Edward was never fully convinced. Alice would notice him giving her strange looks when he thought she wasn't looking. It was like he was delving as deeply into her thoughts as he could. She couldn't deny that this made her somewhat uncomfortable. When she'd addressed Edward on it, he became defensive and offended. Then he sulked around the house for a few days. Alice had felt terrible, apologizing profusely and trying anything to make him feel better. Eventually, he was fine. And their relationship improved, though it was always just a bit strained.

That was the first time she'd fallen for his manipulation. And, after years and years of living with him, she discovered his intentions and refused to sway to them. One would have thought that it would have made their relationship worse, but he simply moved on to other targets. Alice had let it slide, choosing to let people figure Edward out for themselves. She'd let it slide until Jasper came into her life.

She'd seen it almost immediately, that same probing look he'd given her so many years ago. She probably shouldn't have acted so rashly but at the moment she didn't care. He wasn't going to treat Jasper like that. Harsh words were exchanged, a few growls and at one point she'd even lashed out at him. Jasper had caught her quickly enough but needless to say, Edward wasn't happy. This time, it took him weeks to come out of his room. Alice flat out refused to apologize. However, upon hearing one emo joke too many, Jasper finally made her. Alice would never forget the smug look on his face when she entered his room. But, again, he got better as did their relationship.

And then there was Bella. Bella, whom he couldn't read. It was like a dream come true. Alice remembered sitting at the lunch table, silently loving Edward's frustration at not being able to read her thoughts. And then, Edward's frustration turned into fascination. He longed to know her. All he wanted was to know her inner thoughts. And if he couldn't do that with his talent, then he would have to do it with love.

Alice shook her head violently. As much as she hated Edward now, she wasn't giving him enough credit. He really did love Bella. Some part of her, deep down, knew that. Edward loved her and would o anything for her. But as she'd told Bella before, Edward had a very confused notion of chivalry. He'd been selfish for decades. That was a hard habit to break. So, to make himself feel better about his selfishness, he attempted to include Bella so that it would seem like he would be doing the right thing for everyone. She was so smitten with him that she followed blindly along, feeding off of his every word, every glance.

It sickened her. Even if Edward was unaware of what he was doing, it had to stop. Alice longed to do something about it, but she refused to put any more strain on their comfortable family. Rosalie had told her to just forget. She, obviously being more selfish and conceited, was also completely aware of Edward's manipulative ways. But she never fell to them. She was always stronger than Alice. She told Alice to forget about it and move on. If the 'stupid human' couldn't see she was being used then what does it matter? And for awhile, Alice believed her. Until she started falling for her. Hard.

Then, every word Edward uttered was malicious. Every touch he gave to her was cruel. Even that stupid, crooked smile held poison. Alice could hardly stand it. So, she did the best thing that she could do in the situation: she became Bella's best friend. That way, if ever Bella needed a break or a shoulder to cry on, she was there for her. And Alice was there for her a lot. Every time Edward pushed her away, frightened her with his cryptic words, or became angry, Alice was there. She remembered holding Bella closely to her, listening to her sobs and feeling her tears soak through her blouse. The most vivid memory is when Bella wore long sleeved shirts for three days in a row. Alice watched her scratching at them with obvious annoyance. And yet she never pulled them up. When Alice finally managed to get her alone and pull the sleeves up, she saw the bruises.

Purple and blue, drawing five perfect finger imprints around her arms. She remembered watching Bella jump as she snarled angrily. Bella then went into a massive, tear filled explanation about how she'd been too careless and went for a walk during the evening. Edward was only concerned for her safety. It was her fault. She could have died because Victoria was on the loose. Alice had only nodded, her fingers lightly grazing the swollen skin.

When she'd returned home, she found Edward and glared at him, making her thoughts extremely evident. Much to her surprise, however, Edward didn't growl or glare or even turn away. He just stared at her with hollow eyes that were filled with sorrow. He hadn't meant to hurt her. It was immediately clear to her. Edward had spoken with her then. They were sitting on his bed and he was cradling his head in his hands, occasionally letting out a groan of agony at his actions. "I really don't remember my strength when I'm angry," he'd muttered to her between groans and sobs. Alice had placed her hand on his back and rubbed it consolingly. "I don't deserve her," he whispered. Alice removed her hand.

Oh how she wanted to say it. She wanted to scream that he was right, convince him that they were all wrong. That they were only with each other out of fascination, not adoration. But she kept her mouth shut, and instead told him how to handle his anger. At the time he'd nodded and listened intently to her words. But as time went on, she realized that he wasn't trying at all to keep his anger under control. It worried her greatly and she kept constant watch out for Bella. But she never saw the sleeves again and shorts were worn often.

But now…now Edward was not only angry, he was enraged. And Bella was alone. Alice growled violently but sighed softly with relief as the Washington state line came into view. She was so very close. During a straight run in the road, Alice closed her eyes again. She couldn't see anymore than the one, lone vision of Bella professing her love for her. The suspense was killing her. The car wouldn't go fast enough. The road would not end. And her heart would not stop aching. She had to get there. She just had to. She had to get there to finish what she'd started and live her life with Bella by her side.

The Forks, Washington city limits came into view and Alice reluctantly slowed down. This town was a famous speed trap thanks to Chief Swan. However, although she slowed she still wasn't legal. Alice glanced at her clock on the dashboard. Going this speed, it would take her approximately three minutes to reach their house. No. That was too long. Alice increased speed again and made it to the house in a minute and a half, not seeing a single cop on the way. As she ripped open her door and raced to the house, she slowed. In fact, she stopped at the door and sniffed. She couldn't smell Bella or Edward inside. Growling, she raced around to the back where the woods began. Instantly she was hit with Edward's scent. He had raced into the woods. And though she couldn't pick up on Bella's scent, she knew that she must have been with him. Locking onto his scent, she delved into the woods.

Her anger grew with every pounding footstep on the hard ground. Why did have to run? Surely he knew that she would have seen his actions and come racing home. Maybe he was trying to buy time with Bella. Maybe he was scared. In spite of herself, Alice smirked. Good, he should be scared. Suddenly, as she was running, she was hit with another vision.

Edward, walking somberly at a normal pace through the woods, jerked his head up. He sniffed the air and snarled with a smug grin before racing back from where he came.

Alice opened her eyes and growled again. He had noticed her coming. And he was on his way to meet her. Good, she was tired of this. She wanted all of this to be over. Now.

Alice reached a clearing and stopped short. She heard Edward coming and his smell became stronger. He was only a few seconds away. As predicted, he appeared only moments later, slowing his steps and circling around Alice. Alice's predator instincts kicked in as she too began circling, a low growl rumbling in her chest. Edward smirked and lowered himself to a fighting position. "Hello, Alice," he said kindly, "back so soon?"

"Where's Bella?"

"You didn't answer my question, love."

"Don't call me that, Edward. I don't have time for these immaturities. Tell me where she is, or I'll find her myself and leave you here to burn."

Edward gave a barking snarl and bared his glistening teeth. Alice raised her eyebrows, beckoning him on. "I'll make you eat those words, Alice," he said through clenched teeth.

"I'd love to see you try."

Edward needed no more instigation as he lunged at her. Alice ran full speed ahead also. Their bodies collided like two boulders, the sound echoing through the forest. Birds scattered from the nearby trees. Edward had gotten the better advantage and Alice was plowed to the ground. He dug his knee into her stomach, pinning her to the ground as he wrapped his hands around her neck. Alice's eyes widened as she was able to get her elbow up to his chest, giving him a thundering blow and knocking him backwards. Edward got up quickly and they circled each other again, breathing heavily.

"Where's Bella?" Alice asked again, her voice a low rumble.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Don't toy with me, Edward!"

Edward grinned, the mere sight of that crooked smile making Alice all the more livid. However, she did take some small comfort in the fact that Bella wasn't here. If Bella wasn't here, that meant that she was safe somewhere else. Alice could only pray that it was far away.

"I'll let you in on a little secret, Alice!" Edward called from across the clearing. "She's in far better shape than when you left her!"

Alice froze, trying desperately to decipher his words. Edward nodded from across the clearing and charged her again. This time, however, Alice had seen it coming and dodged his attack, landing on his back and driving him against a tree. To stop him from squirming, she jutted her elbow against his neck. While vampires didn't need to breathe, the fear of suffocation was still very real in their once human brains. "What the hell are you talking about, Edward?" Alice shouted so furiously that more birds scattered. Edward just smiled again and shoved her off and into the ground.

"I swear to God if you hurt her…" she threatened from underneath him as he held her in place.

"What? You'll do what, Alice?" Edward sneered, nearing his face to hers. He was much stronger than she was. Alice's next words were muffled with exertion but they were still very clear to him.

"I'll kill you."

Edward paused for just a moment. But it was a moment too long as Alice took the advantage and punched him across the side of the face. Edward groaned and fell to the side as Alice was quick to scramble on top of him. "Where…is…she?"she asked slowly, her breathing heavy. Edward sighed and looked away, no longer fighting underneath her.

"In a better place,"

"What?"

Edward looked back up at her again and she noticed his sorrow filled eyes. His chest heaved underneath her with dry sobs as he closed his eyes. "I just…got so angry."

Alice's eyes widened as her mouth fell open. Everything seemed to freeze around her. There was no sound, no movement. There was only her and Edward. Edward whimpered and spoke again, his voice lighter than a whisper. "S-she loved you, Alice. And I got angry. I didn't mean to shake her that hard." He stopped and started slamming his head against the ground violently, grunting with each blow.

"Edward…" Alice murmured softly. It couldn't be true. He had to be lying. Please, please let him be lying. Please, anything, anything but that. Edward sobbed again underneath her and then stretched his neck out.

"I had to get you angry enough to ensure that you would do this. That's why I fought you. Please, Alice, kill me. I deserve it. And you deserve salvation. Please." He was trembling beneath her tiny frame and she felt her body began to shake. Everything was collapsing around. Things were becoming blurry and suddenly she was cold. She couldn't remember what it was like to be cold. She hated it. Furiously, she wiped her eyes. But everything was still blurry. Everything except for Edward's neck that was outstretched before her. Slowly she placed her hands on it, listening to his muffled cries. She dug her nails into his skin and he cringed, letting out a low gasp. As much as she hated to admit it, it felt good to hear him in such pain. Closing her eyes, Alice dug deeper, and then jerked away.

All was quiet.

All was still.

Alice couldn't breathe.

She couldn't move.

She couldn't feel.

Where was Bella?

She stood slowly, clumsily, and wiped her hands on her jeans. She surveyed the scene before her. The brother that she once knew. The brother that was no more. He didn't matter now. She would come back to burn later. She had to find Bella. The wind made itself known again, blowing roughly across her face. She closed her eyes and turned, racing back towards the house.

The back door burst open and Alice raced in. She couldn't smell her. Her steps slowed as she walked through the kitchen, latching onto anything in hopes of steadying her balance. As she reached the living room she let out a light gasp. The couch was turned over, as was the coffee table. Alice sniffed the air quickly. No blood. That was a good sign. Tentatively, she headed towards the living room. She gripped the back of the loveseat and peered into the room. She couldn't see Bella. She wasn't here, in this mess. Alice exhaled deeply and looked towards the stairs.

The wooden banister was cold to her touch and the echoing footsteps on the stairs made her cringe. It was too loud. It was all too loud. The floor creaked underneath her as she reached the top step. Her hand swiveled around the top of the banister as she faced Bella's room. The door was shut. It was always shut. She still couldn't smell her. Slowly, Alice reached a hand out and grasped the brass doorknob. She gave it a small turn, then pushed it open.

It opened without a sound, slowly swinging backwards to rest against her wall. Alice stepped in slowly, freezing as she looked upon the bed.

Bella was facing away from her, her stomach to the far wall. She was covered up and tucked in quite tightly. Alice could just see the top of her brunette head. Silently, she made her way over and sat on the edge of the bed. It creaked a little but Alice paid no mind. Instead, she just surveyed. She still couldn't see Bella's face. Cautiously, she reached out and placed a hand on Bella's head. Her hair was soft…smooth. Alice inhaled deeply. She could smell it now, but it was far from potent. Her hand travelled lower, grasping in ends of the comforter and slowly pulling it down.

She stopped when it was just covering her feet. Alice looked down at her legs. They were almost healed. There was just the faintest tint of red to the cuts. Her skin was so pale. Alice placed her arm next to her calf. Their skin was the same color. Alice took a deep breath, then placed a hand on Bella's shoulder. As gently as she could muster, she rolled Bella onto her back.

Bella rolled over easily enough, her head rolling back off of the pillow. Empty, chocolate brown eyes stared up at the ceiling. Her mouth was slightly agape, stuck in a wordless call. Her lips still held the blood red tint they always had. Alice tried to breathe evenly, but it came out staccato. She placed her hand on Bella's freezing cheek, tracing it lower to her neck. There was bruising there. One bone was jutting out painfully from underneath the skin.

"I didn't mean to shake her that hard."

Edward's words were taunting now. Alice gently gripped Bella's neck. There was no pulse. There hadn't been one for quite some time. Alice slid her hand under Bella's back and legs, bringing her forward to cradle her in her lap. Bella's head lolled forward. And her eyes met Alice's. Alice couldn't bear to look at them. She'd failed. She'd failed again. Closing her eyes, Alice rested her head against Bella's and sobbed. Her heaving breaths felt like Bella breathing against her and she smiled as she remembered the way she'd cradled Bella in her arms only hours before. Back when she was warm…alive.

Still crying, Alice pulled away and placed a hand over Bella's eyes, closing them. Then she placed her finger under Bella's chin and closed her mouth. "My sweet, Bella," she murmured, knowing only the heavens could hear her, "I love you so much. I'm sorry that I was late. But Edward was right. You're in a better place. And I hope to meet you there someday." She began to cry harder now, becoming delirious. Gently, she lowered her head and placed one final kiss on Bella's lips before tucking her back in and then climbing in beside her.


	13. Chapter 13

Epilogue

Mist from the ocean blew softly against Alice's cheeks. She could feel droplets forming on her skin but didn't wipe them away. She didn't care. What did a few droplets matter? A fiery warmth soon captured her cheek and she inhaled deeply as the blazing hand wiped the mist away. When the heat was removed from her cheek, she glanced to her left. Jacob smiled somberly at her and she returned it with a single nod, letting her hands fall. She felt it brush against his own and noticed it twitch from the temperature change. Taking a deep breath, she grasped it and entwined their fingers. Jacob looked down and wiped his eyes with his free hand. Alice felt him grip hers tightly and she returned it.

Despite what happened there, everyone was well aware that the infamous cliff was Bella's favorite spot in the entire world. The Quileute's had been kind enough to Alice onto their territory for the funeral. She was forever grateful to them. She looked around. There were quite a lot of people here. Jessica was clutching onto Mike, trying desperately to stifle her sobs while Mike stood with his jaw clenched, patting her on the back consolingly. Angela was a few feet away. She wasn't crying, but she was desperately close. Other kids from school were here and some adults from around town. The entire police force was here. Chief Swan was to right. His face was red and his eyes were swollen from crying. Alice gently touched his hand with her own, surprised when he took it and gripped it just as tightly as Jacob had.

Renee was next to him, sobbing quietly while Phil stood next to her with his head hanging low. Alice sighed. The rest of her family wasn't here. They thought it would be too dangerous. Especially since the entire town thought Edward to blame. And though he was to blame, they would never find him. Jasper and Emmett had taken care of him while the others helped with the evidence. They were invited of course, but they thought it best not to attend. Alice was saddened by this. Charlie knew that they weren't to blame. It would have been better if they'd come. She hung her head. The preacher was saying something but Alice couldn't focus on it.

Then, she heard the closing sermon and listened as he sang a beautiful hymn. They buried their heads and prayed for a few moments. Then, giving Alice's hand one final squeeze, Charlie stepped forward to the edge of the cliff. He hung his head for a moment, praying again, before he opened the lid to his jar and allowed the ashes to fly into the sea. Renee was next, then Jacob. And finally, it was Alice's turn.

She made her way slowly towards the edge. As she looked down at the briny water below, she longed to jump in it. To just immerse herself for the rest of eternity. But she just didn't have the courage. So instead, she mumbled a loving prayer and a declaration of love, and emptied her jar into the wind. She watched as it swirled slowly above her head before being carried off over the sea. Then she put the lid back on and resumed her place by Jacob. As the preacher finished, Alice opened her jar and looked inside. There, nestled around the edges of the jar, were some of Bella's ashes that had neglected to go. Alice smiled warmly at it, then clamped the lid firmly on it.

The rest of the eulogy was a blur. Alice merely watched the waves and cradled the jar in her palm. When it was over, Alice embraced Jacob. To lighten the mood, he pretended to gag on her scent. She hugged him once more just for being himself and then moved onto Charlie. Tears were pouring down his cheeks but he managed a soft smile as she said her goodbyes to him with promises to return. They also hugged and she smiled as she waved bye to them before getting in her car.

Once she was seated, she turned to place the jar in the passenger seat, only to discover that someone was in occupying it. Lifting her head, she saw Jasper sitting before her. He smiled warmly at her and took the jar, cradling just as carefully as she had. "I thought you'd like some company to the airport," he said softly, "and possibly beyond if you'd like."

Alice smiled, nodding as the crying came again. Jasper reached out and grasped her hand, holding it firmly and she sniffed once. "Some company and beyond sounds great." She had a lot of healing to do, but with Jasper by her side and Bella in her heart, she knew it would come eventually. Stilling holding his hand, Alice started the car and drove at human pace down the road.


End file.
